the stephenhead

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and s-integrator

august 29, 2002

Apparently every Christmas the Renaissance Medici family would command Michaelangelo to make snowmen in the grounds of their Florentine palazzo. You can't imagine that sort of thing happening today. I mean who in their right mind would employ Jeff Koons or Damian Hirst to make snowmen in their front yard? You can just imagine where Koons would place the carrot. This is why modern art isn't very good.
stephenb 13:59 - [Link] - Comments ()
I used to think that anyone talking to themselves in the street was obviously a crazy person, an alcoholic, and a bum. These days I assume that anyone talking to themselves in the street is simply chatting on a mobile phone, even if they are slumped on the floor surrounded by empty bottles of meths, but especially if they are screaming complete nonsense at top volume. Just a different type of bum, I suppose.
stephenb 13:27 - [Link] - Comments ()
How sad the irreversible decline of the Chinese Restaurant. Time was when you could take a horse-drawn hackney cab through cobbled streets to the fog enshrouded part of town. Flit through a beaded curtain and sit at a linen covered table on a rickety chair beneath a pale yellow lantern, waited upon by a sensual dark-eyed waitress in a slinky blue satin dress with a vial of poison hidden between her breasts who ferries bowls of steaming noodles and mysterious green liqueurs from the duck sauce splattered kitchen, through the laundry boiling in the vats, past the shady opium den, and into the dining room. Meanwhile, in a back room, behind a fake door disguised as a shrine, Fu Manchu, moustache drooping in his wonton soup, plots and plots to destroy the world.
Nowadays you just call them up, order a number 22 from the take-out menu, and they bring it over in a van.

stephenb 12:23 - [Link] - Comments ()
august 28, 2002
I read today about how the writer Rosamond Lehmann became interested in spiritualism after the death of her daughter. She believed her daughter was in heaven and had got a job with St Francis of Assisi teaching unborn baby birds how to sing - friends in high places. Pretty bizarre.
Mind you, I used to believe that the Tooth Fairy collected teeth so that the other fairies could build castles out of them.But that only applied to the bright white new teeth, they used the rotten yellow ones for building sheds to keep their bikes in. I was four, though, and unfortunately I'm not that creative anymore.
stephenb 15:46 - [Link] - Comments ()