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Pointy Thumbs.....The Shape Of Things To Come?

Earlier today I had the good fortune of talking to an operator from the Orange cellular phone company. I was upgrading my contract and phone to something more befitting a man who can't actually hold a phone properly at the moment, and has to use a hands-free kit...?...er...anyway...
The conversation rolled on........her 'systems were down' - (all sounded rather medical to me). We yakked about the fact that the phone, a Nokia 6310i , was a good size, not like some of these smaller phones which must be incredibly difficult to use. And flip phones - I thought they sailed up the Swanny with 'Motorola Flip' , back in the days when 'hair bands' still ruled ?! Anyway, it occurred to me that these poor individuals out there - and you might count yourself as one of these - who spend many 'happy'(?) hours texting messages to each other, must have a VERY HARD TIME doing it. I mean - the buttons are so damned small.

But what if, by some strange form, ( - notice that...got 'form' right first time.......of course, you'll never know that, I could have edited it afterwards........but you're just going to have to take my word on it), of human evolution we are now seeing the first generation of 'Pointy Thumbed Youths'.......or PTY's ? Think about it, at bustops, trainstations, football matches - that's 'soccer' to you Colonials - in fact - ANYWHERE where you see a teenage person rapidly clicking away making a noise like some sort  of 'Tic Tac' addict desperate to get the last one out of the plastic box - they are part of the PTY's.
And don't think the problem stops there. Oh no. With the increase of PYTs in our society, we are, sadly, going to see an increase in teenage rhinoplasty operations, particularly with hay fever sufferers who forget they are a PTY and quickly push a Kleenex to their face with their 'sharp pointy thumbs'! Ouch ! Obviously, the 'nose picking' brigade I have no sympathy for.
What of the glove manufacturers ? We will see children wearing mitts with re-inforced thumbs - thus weighing their arms down, causing the arms to drag along the ground - good for clearing the drive in winter (!), but not very good for overall posture. Indeed, as is the slouching habits of our nations youths', all trouser manufacturers will have to redesign their pockets to account for the newly developed razor sharp digits.

Aluminium lined 'Dockers' ? - Actually not far from the truth - Levi Strauss is to introduce a new range of slacks with mobile phone anti-radiation pockets. The Dockers S-Fit trousers are scheduled to hit Europe's high streets in early 2003. There are no plans to launch them in the US. The trousers could cost as much as £100 a pair. The phone pockets are lined with a special material, which tailors say will prevent radiation from phones reaching the skin. Of course, the company isn't saying that radiation from mobile phones is dangerous or anything. Absolutely not, it says it's merely responding to customer concerns about radiation emissions from mobile phones.........and PTYs no doubt - Levis, they've got their finger, (or thumb), on the pulse.

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