before i continue writing the paper that was due yesterday (it's only a 1% deduction, so don't get your knickers in a twist, okay?)...

i got this from desiree, and decided to do it, because it's really some funny shit.

bernadette is enjoying all this
bernadette is able to do so as well
bernadette is baptised
bernadette is nauw verbonden met hetgeen god wilde bewerken in lourdes
bernadette is kept since 3rd
bernadette is zo eenvoudig als haar leven
bernadette is so far beyond anything that has been published in the christian contemplative literature that you will often run across people who are willing to
bernadette is quite simply
bernadette is being recognized for her years of service to the university and the alumni association
bernadette is absolutely radiant
bernadette is believed to be the only
bernadette is reached #28 in the european charts and is reached #22 in the us indie charts
bernadette is very sensual she's the epitany of elegance really
bernadette is saorise
bernadette is a profound source of inspiration and of mystery surrounding the ways of the lord
bernadette is
bernadette is a determined capable and responsible woman
bernadette is from the republic of the congo
bernadette is een korenmolen in het verleden werd er graan voor veevoer mee gemalen
bernadette is perhaps one of the most impressive and stimulating stories any family can view
bernadette is a professional menmber of the
bernadette is best known for behind the scenes work in many major fields
bernadette is telling us what she found and it should gladden our hearts that someone has sought and found their true nature
bernadette is our fosterchild since april 2001
bernadette is a positive person
bernadette is gathering sticks of wood near the grotto when she is visited by the virgin
bernadette is savoring the sweet
bernadette is a tri
bernadette is debuted at #28 in the european charts with the title track of her cd called bernadette "you go girl"
bernadette is written in white
bernadette is a real estate agent that is known in the community of doylestown for their dedicated client service
bernadette is now adding "columnist" to that list
bernadette is a considered masterpiece and quite rightly so
bernadette is looking for a house to buy in melbourne
bernadette is a spirited individual out to make her mark in the career she has chosen to pursue
bernadette is a co
bernadette is from the abenaki first nation
bernadette is well know for her role as saoirse the sweet colleen
bernadette is a member of the costume society of america
bernadette is a beautiful story
bernadette is by their side
bernadette is a proud member of the utica rotary club
bernadette is celebrating fifty years as a faith community this year
bernadette is half haitian
bernadette is oldest of 11 children and was given many artistic gifts which began to manifest at about age 40
bernadette is a great cat
bernadette is most famous for a series of apparitions in which she claimed to have seen a young lady appearing to her
bernadette is also in involved with the "inter
bernadette is his most recent release
bernadette is responsible for portfolio management for high net worth individuals and businesses and also leads the boston advisors team to provide account
bernadette is nearing completion of her phd on coal mine water quality at uct
bernadette is displayed for public veneration in regina caeli chapel of st
bernadette is able to raise frankie in dublin
bernadette is quite chilling
bernadette is the honorary co
bernadette is currently working in the business process analysis area
bernadette is an associate in donahue's corporate/mergers and acquisitions and structured finance groups
bernadette is an elementary school teacher; after we left france
bernadette is from sudbury
bernadette is the youngest member of our team
bernadette is an aging transsexual whose sense of humour often seems
bernadette is currently writing and recording as part of a new ambient techno project called pitch black
bernadette is involved in many school and community organizations including the keystone club
bernadette is honest
bernadette is difficult to pin down
bernadette is haitian and st
bernadette is sympathetic to the ghosts of his past life
bernadette is a full
bernadette is a certified personal trainer and has been working at jean robert?s gym for over two years
bernadette is intact
bernadette is the proprietor of a busy natural health clinic
bernadette is into speaking bavarian
bernadette is either real or she's imagined
bernadette is a product of maryknoll grade school and moanalua high school
bernadette is hailed for her highly interactive and informative approach that maximizes audience participation and ensures greater information retention
bernadette is a primary school catering for teenagers with a mild learning difficulty
bernadette is the co
bernadette is a lovely indian maiden as she poses in her ultra suede dress with matching knee high boots
bernadette is a graphic designer for print and web projects
bernadette is always
bernadette is certified as an umpire through the amateur softball association
bernadette is actively involved in the governance of several organizations
bernadette is well
bernadette is calm and brave
bernadette is developing our student tracking and beneficiary needs for esf projects and manages work
bernadette is the sales director
bernadette is one of the artist who could make a living by her illustrations
bernadette is therapist to the rich and famous hamsters who have hang ups and problems they need to discuss

hahah. jugding by what i can only assume is german, i'm INTERNATIONAL, baby. hell yeah.

in other news: i'm thinking about taking down the blog.

i don't have all that much time to really maintain it. i mean, i have a journal, and that's where i go to trash the world, wonder about life, to vent. it's quite therapeutic.

and more and more, i'm finding it kinda weird that there are quite a number of people that i don't know, who read this thing on a daily basis. it's kind of unnerving knowing (not knowing?) that people are reading your thoughts.

i also found that i had become one of those people that i swear i'd never become. one of those types that can't spend 10 minutes without checking their blog/email, or who type 12 posts a day.

so i think that this whole fiasco of not really posting was in effect the weening process. i'll probably really kick the habit soon, and maybe close the account in a few weeks.

maybe not. i haven't decided yet.

so thanks to you all who've read and commented. appreciated it, i did. =)

and to the florida crew (and you know who you are), i'll be talking to you in a little bit. ;)

bernadette walked against the wind at... 12:12 AM - [Link]

what's the matter, little girl?
say you're tired? say you're sad?
you're not alone.

but is that necessarily true?

as you can tell, i've been having another one of those weeks where it seems as if though i'm not too sure of what i'm doing anymore. a lot of people have entrusted me with their stories, and have asked me for my opinions on particular subjects.

not that i'm this great all-knowing, knowledge-dispensing being or anything. half the time, i'm not too sure if i'd even take my own advice, in terms of the person that i believe myself to be. i try to give my opinion on things that are specific to the character of the person that asks me.

but sometimes i think that i fall in too deeply.

have i ever mentioned that i'm an EXTREMELY emotional person? no? well i am. rather than use my mind, i'll tend to follow my emotions/gut feeling/whatever. that's just the way that i am. and getting so caught up in emotions, while a nice thing for the most part, can be dangerous.

and it's so sad to see people that you love and care about hurting. to take away their hurt, to not have to see the look of pain in their eyes as they speak to you, to find that gliimer of hope...

actions definitely speak louder than words with me.

but to not be able to do that for them...there's nothing that feels worse. is this ego speaking? i'd like to think not, but rather, it's just common decency. why anyone would want to hurt someone is beyond me, but in my very simplistic view of the world, there's no excuse for it.

at the same time all of this is going on, however, i have my own things that i have to deal with. it's crunch time at school, work is getting busier and busier with the upcoming christmas rush, sorority events are all leading up to the biggest event of the fall...

and here i am, with about a million thoughts running through my head, blending together with no beginning and no end, in a haze that's blurring my vision through these adverse times.

so when this happens, i become upset. visibly upset. and that's when the advice from so many of my great friends come. and it ALL makes sense, it's logical. every last bit of it. but, being the emotional person that i am, it doesn't add up. nothing makes sense at all.

only the knowledge that people are hurting, and there's not much that can take it away.

don't worry.

i'm feeling better.

but lyrics are in order...

hey your glass is empty
it's a hell of a long way home
why don't you let me take you
it's no good to go alone
i never would have opened up
but you seemed so real to me
after all the bullshit I've heard
it's refreshing not to see
i don't have to pretend
she doesn't expect it from me
don't tell me i haven't been good to you
don't tell me i have never been there for you
don't tell me why
nothing is good enough
hey little girl would you like some candy
your momma said that it's OK
the door is open come on outside
no i can't come out today
it's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
and threw you to the ground
who's there that makes you so afraid
you're shaken to the bone
and i don't understand
you deserve so much more than this
so don't tell me why
he's never been good to you
don't tell me why
he's never been there for you
don't you know that why
is simply not good enough
so just let me try
and i will be good to you
just let me try
and i will be there for you
i'll show you why
you're so much more than good enough...

i'm off to the santa claus parade to relive my youth.

check y'all later.

bernadette walked against the wind at... 11:41 AM - [Link]

ah yes. the great teenage evasion.

it's just a shame that i'm no longer a teen.

of course, if i decided to refer to my age as 'one and twen-teen,' then i suppose that it would be applicable.

i know that i said that i'd only be blogging, like, once a week, but i ran across one of those survey-type things, and i couldn't pass it up. it's been a while since i last did one of these mofos, and i'm doing homework right now, so...

you can figure out the rest.

name four bad habits you have:
1. procrastination-but for the most part, it's always worked in my favour.
2. surfing the net...when i could be getting important homework done
3. buying needless crap that i don't really need...though with my lack of money these days, i can't even afford a timbit.
4. i have a notebook where i write things that i have to do for the next day. a good part of the time, i never complete the things on my list. i suppose that it's an extension of the first one, but i'm too tired to think of something else right now.

name four things that you wish you had:
1. my full driver's license
2. enough cash to pay off my mastercard...damn sporting addiction.
3. copious amounts of alcohol
4. more time to do shit

Name Four Scents You Love:
1. satsuma body spray from the body shop
2. this glade candle. i don't know the name of it, but it's the white/yellow/green one
3. rain
4. another candle...pacific red ginger

name four people that know you the best:
1. scott d.-18 years and counting
2. ross-he taught me to do a decent slapstick shot
3. desiree-since the 4th grade...
4. scott g.-......no words

name four things you'd never wear:
1. those dumbass pants that have writing all over the ass. like 'angel' or 'princess' or 'slutbag whore'
2. stillettos (i don't even think that i spelt it right). do i fucking look like a barbie to you?
3. spandex.
4. anything excessively pink. i hate the colour pink to begin with, but in excessive amounts...no-no. not happening.

name four things you are thinking about now:
1. my feet hurt a lot.
2. i've gotta get working on those three papers due next week.
3. i'm tired.
4. damn. i can see the floor of my romm today!

name four things that you have done today:
1. went to work
2. got subway for lunch (jared's my hero...hahah)
3. grooved to linkin park...which is essentially just a bunch of screaming and a lot of jumping around
4. read some of an article for my paper on ideology and literature in WWII japan

name the last four things you have bought:
1. subway for lunch
2. kilter:55 fictions
3. stationery
4. the strokes' room on fire

name four bands/groups most people don't know you like:
1. i think that people know more or less what i like
2. i hate pop
3. and love rock
4. but if you don't know what i like, then look at the sidebar, dammit.

name four drinks you regularly drink:
1. water
2. apple juice
3. jack and coke (does this count as two? i'd like to think not)
4. guiness...sweet life blood.

first grade teacher's name?
mrs. mellor. i miss her. she passed away a few years ago. god bless her.

last words you said:
fuck that shit...smack that bitch up.

last song you sang?
i'm singing along to liz phair's 'why can't i' right now, because it's on the radio.

last person you hugged?
bill...at work. he's the bestest. 'BILL!!...i love you so and i always will...' (remember that from 'my girl'?)

last thing you laughed at?
something at work. i always laugh at work. i'm like, the fucking comic relief

last time you said 'i love you' and meant it?
what the hell way do you mean? like, 'i love you as a friend' or 'i love you, i can't live without you, you're my shining light, let's get married, i wanna have all 641453 of your kids'? i always say i love you to my friends. the latter...i dunno.

last time you cried?
three days ago.

what's in your cd player?
the kills

what color socks are you wearing?
i WAS wearing these pig socks, but now, none

what's under your bed?
dust bunnies, my short track notebook, and some journals

what time did you wake up today?
6:45. i had to work an opening shift.

current taste?
sunrype apple juice

current hair?
down, in serious need of some combing, and i'm not even sure of its colour anymore.

current clothes?
my red marquette hooded sweatshirt and a black pair of my old admiral soccer shorts.

current annoyance?
that i really should be doing homework.

current longing?
lots of things. can't narrow it down to one thing.

current desktop picture?
nothing. i'm on me mam's laptop.

current worry?
three papers due in the same week. two of which are on the same day. i'm going to be all japanesed out.

current hate?
boredom. i'm tired of school. why can't i just be a short track ho for the rest of my life?

favorite physical feature of the opposite sex?
erm...ass i mean eyes. well, both, depending on what side i'm looking at.

last cd you bought?
the strokes.

favorite place to be?
in my room. or at the agd house.

least favorite place?
any part of robarts liberry. i hate that place with a passion, and everything smells funny.

if you could play an instrument?
i play many instruments. piano, vio-mo-lin, saxophone, flute, clarinet (though not very proficient), tin whistle, DRUMS, guitar (well, like 10 songs), trumpet (three scales, and a handful of songs).

favorite color?
red, red, and more red. and black. i'm poisonous!!

do you believe in an afterlife?
yeah. *go catholicism*

how tall are you?
5'3"...probably forever. dammmit.

current favorite word/saying?
'fuck that shit'. and 'bitch'. i got alison saying it now. i'm a pretty bad influence. oh, almost forgot 'dude' and 'no-no'.

favorite season?
i like all the seasons for different reasons. i like spring because everything's green(er), summer because the days are longer, and thus there's more time for fun stuff, fall because i like looking at the leaves change colours, and winter when there's fresh snow that hasn't be trodden all over (and when it's sunny. gloomy sucks).

one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to?
lola...miss and love you.

favorite day?
thursday. that's when we have exchanges. and any holiday. and my birthday, which i think should be an international holiday. so basically any occasion when i can drink.

where would you like to go?
fiji...which, oddly enough, is where i'm heading to after i graduate.

what is your career going to be like?
fuckin' a. i know what i want to do. now i just gotta get there. but i'm enjoying the path on the way.

how many kids do you want?
kids? what are those? probably not a motley crew...three at most?

favorite car?
dunno...

a random lyric:
every now and then life says
where d'you think you're going so fast
we're apt to think it cruel but sometimes
it's a case of cruel to be kind

identify some of the things surrounding your computer:
books, paper, ruler, books, cd mini-crate, battery charger, books, printer, wires, books, manic panic infra-red, books...

bernadette walked against the wind at... 12:12 AM - [Link]

and monosyllabic chick makes her triumphant return after a VERY long hiatus.

i think that the last time that i made a reference to her was back when i was still using that piece of shit blogger.

ah well. i digress again. it's actually something that i'm quite good at.

anyways, i'm still here at school. i've been here since 9:30, and it doesn't look like i'm going to be going home anytime soon. i've got a house meeting later at 8, then, like every thursday, we're going to be doing something.

is thursday night party night for universities/colleges/post secondary institutions too, or is this just a canadian phenomenon (or at the very least, a u of t one)?

in other news: it's been over a week since i returned home from the very hip, very happening marquette.

yes, i'm being sarcastic. at least with the whole marquette reference. *digression*

anyways, i think that my life's gone back to normal, somewhat. note the emphasis on the *somewhat*, because we all know that my life is anything but normal. it's kind of good to be back in the swing of things, and to be doing schoolwork *insert collective gasp here*.

not that i really have a choice with the whole schoolwork front. because i want to live to see 25, and we all know that it won't happen if i don't graduate.

but yeah. it's been nice to be back in the loop of things, and to get my ass in gear getting my papers researched, eventually written, yada yada yada.

of course, we all know that this means that short track memoirs are to be further delayed. but that's okay, with my ironclad memory and everything. hahah...

in even further news: i watched the giller prize on tuesday night, as it was the first time that the awards ceremony had ever been broadcasted, let alone live.

m.g. vassanji won!!

for those that don't know, the giller prize awards canadian literature. what's special about vassanji's winning for the in-between world of vikram lall is that vassanji won the first giller prize. so it's nice that he won on the 10th anniversary of the awards.

yeah. i know that some of you are rolling your eyes and/or yawning and/or going 'huh'?

well, stop that/phooey/shut up.

i'm planning on reading it. when i can afford to buy it. which will be in three years from now.

however, i AM reading kilter: 55 fictions by john gould. what's good about this is that each 'fiction' is short. short is good. VERY good.

plus it's in paperback, which is cheap. cheap is also good.

so to break it down: short+cheap=happy girl bernadette.

on an unrelated sidenote: a few weeks ago, i bitched about having to hand in a chorus budget for VUSAC.

well, they had a meeting sometime last week for all people involved. i wasn't there (being out of the country and everything). and astonishingly enough, with THREE vps, not one of them could make it either. so, with our fall concert being next friday, i had to go and find out how much money we were allotted for expenditures. last year, we got $800. this year, we asked for $1200 (same as last year).

so when i went to the office tuesday, i was quite pissed off to find that we were only allotted $250.

what the fuck?

so i had to tell our chorus director. and i was really sad about it, because it's a reflection of how i am as president.

then the great news came today in the (e)mail.

it turns out that we were actually allotted $950 for this year. this'll also be in addition to the $1000 we're getting from the president's fund, for a total of $1950 for the year!!

i'm happy.

no more crappy sandwiches for our receptions. and maybe the chorus members will even get to EAT some this year.

just to sum it up: there are a few more comp. related things that i want to address, and a few people that i want to say hello to...

i'm very fortunate to have a mum that allows me to go to these things. a lot of parents would be like, 'what the hell? you want to go to the boons, in the middle of the school year for WHAT?!?' but not me mam. she's really kewl with most everything that i do. so thanks to her. =) (not that she reads this shit or anything).

yano, what can i say? thanks for letting me bunk with you so that i didn't have to pitch a tent in front of the BEC, because i'm pretty sure that i would have landed my arse in jail (again, not being too familiar with american laws, but in canada, it's illegal). thanks also from saving me from having to do VERY boing homework.

noelle, it was my second/third time meeting you. you are TOO much fun!! and thank you and denise beaucoup for talking with me about u.s. speedskating. i feel enlightened. kinda like a despot. except i bathe more than once a month. i'm just sorry that we didn't get a chance to talk about the differences between canadian and american thanksgivings (we don't generally eat poutine though). ;)

melinda, of COURSE i couldn't forget my solodarity training sister. it was SO great to finally meet you!! we MUST get together someday soon. maybe i've racked up enough air miles to take a trip to cali. whaddaya say?

stephi, it was so awesome meeting you!! you are one kewl chick. i hope that you'll be there in cleveland. i need someone to help me kick little shits outta the way as we make our neverending journeys to the press room. too much fun. i suggest that you save that very professional looking pic of us at our reporting best. i hear that it's great blackmail material. ;)

as for the comp. related things...i wholeheartedly agree. there are just some things that can never see the internet light of day/glow of screen. gotta love the 'venus' though. lol...

bernadette walked against the wind at... 6:55 PM - [Link]