not related - but funny
my grandma married a truck driver after my grandfather died.
he would drive his truck in his dreams. it was so funny to watch. his clutch foot pumped regularly every few moments. it's like he was driving his truck the whole time he was sleeping. i wonder if he slept while he was really driving?
too bad he died long ago so i can't ask him.
quote of the day -
"religion is a 16th-century word for nationalism."
--British historian Lewis Namier
jezebel 07:38 - [Link] - Comments ()
for those unable to see the truth, here it is spelled out in terms any movie goer can understand. possibly even canine pet owners. just remember wage=wag.
jezebel 06:07 - [Link] - Comments ()
avoid holidays at any cost. i'd much rather sit at home and have an exciting evening of chess than going out somewhere.
the chess board (both virtual and physical) is my comfort zone, as it has been most of my life, and i'm perfectly content to stay right there hopping around with those 32 pieces and 64 other squares, always there and way more comforting than any drug could be.
jezebel 20:19 - [Link] - Comments ()
i never understood counting fractures. when i first learned about other oi people and read in their descriptions how many bones they've broken i was like ... what? wow i forgot to count mine. am i an idiot or what? then i decided i just wasn't dwelling on those facts. that's not to say that others are. i just forgot to write them down i suppose. or maybe i just can't count that high.
jezebel 07:48 - [Link] - Comments ()
May 28, 2003
PRONOIA: The realization that life is a conspiracy to liberate you
from ignorance, flood you with love, and give you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.
Here are the first 14 steps of EXTREME PRONOIA THERAPY: 888 Steps to Becoming an Aggressively Sensitive, Wildly Disciplined, Lyrically Logical, Ironically Sincere, Insanely Poised, Lustfully Compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss.
1. The Bitch-Off. During an intense hour-long rant, you will complain and whine about everything that pains you. Get a sympathetic listener to be your receptacle if possible, or simply deliver your blast straight into a tape recorder. Having emptied all your psychic toxins in one neat ritual spew, you'll be able to luxuriate in rosy moods and relaxed visions for a while.
2. Locate or create a symbol of your own pain. Mail it to us at the Angst Incineration Crew, P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915, USA. We will then conduct a sacred ritual of purification during which we will burn that symbol to ash. While this may not banish your suffering entirely, it will provide a substantial amelioration that you will be able to feel the benefits of within a month.
3. You will ask yourself the following questions, and then answer them.
a. What unripe parts of yourself are you most ashamed or fearful of? How can you give those parts more ingenious love?
b. What parts of yourself have the least integrity and don't act in harmony with what you regard as your highest values? How can you bring them into alignment with your true desires?
c. Is it possible that in trying to repress some of the things about yourself that you don't like, you have also disowned potentially strong and beautiful aspects of yourself? What are they?
d. What interesting shticks and good behavior do you depend on too much, in the sense that you use them as defense mechanisms that prevent you from responding spontaneously to new situations and learning all you can from them? What about you might fit the description of "the good being the enemy of the great?"
4. Using crayons, paints, scissors, glue, collage materials or any other materials, create a piece of large-denomination paper money, good for making a payment on your karmic debt.
5. Kick your own ass 22 times.
6. Brag Therapy. Have you ever tried to explain in exhaustive detail why you're so wonderful, and why everyone in the world should be more like you? You will -- if you participate in the boasting free-for-all called Brag Therapy. It may not be as easy as you think to strip away your veneer of inhibition and truly reveal the amazing, gorgeous, unique qualities about you which many people, including maybe yourself, have never fully articulated or appreciated.
7. Perform a senseless act of altruism, for instance by giving an anonymous gift or providing some beauty or healing to a person who cannot do you any favors in return.
8. Deliver a concentrated stream of praise about someone, either to that person herself or to anyone who will listen. Extra credit: Force yourself to think a kind and loving thought about someone you don't like or from whom you feel alienated.
9. Conjure up an imaginary friend and have an intimate conversation with him and her for at least five minutes. Keep in mind that this need not be an actual human being. The composer Robert Schuman had long conversations with his imaginary friends, Florestan and Eusebius, who provided valuable ideas for his musical scores. W.S. Merwyn has a poem in which he recounts the surprising counsel of his teacher John Berryman: "he suggested I pray to the Muse/ get down on my knees and pray/ right there in the corner and he/ said he meant it literally."
10. Build an altar devoted to beauty, truth, and love in one of the ugliest places you know -- or else on behalf of the ugliest part of your own psyche.
11. With a companion, watch a blank TV while making up a pronoiac story featuring plot twists that are rife with happiness, redemption, and good times -- yet not boring. You may either speak this tale aloud or write it down.
12. Compose and carry out a ceremony in which you get married to yourself.
13. While making love, imagine that your physical pleasure is a carrier wave for a spiritual blessing which you beam in the direction of some person you know who needs a supercharged boost.
14. Give yourself a new name or at least an additional nickname. For inspiration, refer to the renowned Japanese artist known as Hokusai. Throughout his career, he was driven to experiment with ever-new methods and mediums -- a habit that early on alienated him from his conservative mentor Shunsho. So passionate was the man in his commitment to reinvent himself that he celebrated 60 births, each time giving himself a new name. ("Hokusai" was just one of many.)
Now here are some suggestions for names YOU might want to use for yourself: Thunderbird, Seriously Delirious, Dreamweaver, Fierce Epiphany, White Knight, Wild Face, Fire-Eater, Lap- Diver, Lust-Rustler, Jam-Dancer, Fever-Licker, Kiss Genius, Love Bomb, Neuromancer, Soul-Maker, Slippery Monkey, Hot Sauce, Fire-Licker, Lap-Diver, Fizzy Nectar, Lust-Rustler, Sweaty Sweety, Rowdy Gusto, Silky Banger, Mango Sucker.
jezebel 10:37 - [Link] - Comments ()
oops. western medicine stumbles again. i wonder what gail thinks about this. she's the woman i helped write the book is it hot in here or is it me? the book about menopause. she probably thinks it's my fault. haha
all those hormones. it always sounded like a bad idea to me.
jezebel 06:30 - [Link] - Comments ()
this is the best thing i've ever read about whitney houston.
jezebel 13:40 - [Link] - Comments ()
yes i am being a bit cynical when i refer to tv as god.
what i refer to is the pre-existing idea that on the whole, media in general, print (writing), air (tv and radio), film, video, dvd (photos and movies), art (painting, sculpture) or whatever else, maybe stone engravings, could be considered separate entities or parts of one larger iconic being that is worshipped, or at least adored, by the masses of humanity, no matter if they realize it or not.
likewise, certain segments of some media are sometimes beseeched or prayed to for answers to various questions, questions sometimes ironically spawned by certain acts of media. it is highly likely most people do not realize they are doing it.
i think it was once a popular social theory called the "media as god theory" or something like that. or maybe i'm dreaming again.
jezebel 13:54 - [Link] - Comments ()
Subject: Re: ... News re. "Kathy's fridge"
... You know when I saw the discovery channel documentary, I thought that she was intereviewed and in that documentary they showed her opening her refrigerator and there was only beer in it.
as a proudly surviving, recovered, recovering alcoholic i must say,
"beer is food."
in younger years of high school, college and a decade or so afterward, i literally survived on beer. there were scanty quantities of solid
sustenance dispersed amidst lots of different kinds of alcoholic drinks
there is proof. for a long time, i had a refrigerator magnet that said,
"beer is food." there were times when beer was all the refrigerator
contained, maybe some moldy cheese.
at the height of my seemingly life-long relationship with alcohol my drink of choice was guinness stout, more than beer, truly nectar of the gods, and i chronically and religiously consumed at least two pints of it per day for years.
i've since, years ago, stopped drinking alcohol. my liver is
sufficiently pickled now and both my spiritual and physical bodies rebel
against my addicted brain. they flatly refuse to accept even one more
drop of alcohol without sending me on perilous journeys which ultimately
end up as near-death experiences. so, alas, i don't drink any more.
yet i will continue to stand, sit or levitate by the statement that beer
is food. at times, it helped me exist without much food for extended
periods. and guinness -- truly a beverage that hovers steadily at the
level of holy sacrement -- is comparable only to espresso in its awesome beauty, distinctfulnes and nobility.
the liquid-meal heavenly diet:
(gets you to heaven real quick)
guinness for entree,
espresso for dessert.
jezebel 18:37 - [Link] - Comments ()
didn't i hear the theory somewhere that we were born of the stars. well if that's true, then why not be infected by the stars.
just think ... the entire planet earth, way less than a pitiful pawn. a mere smidge of ingredients in a large chaotic intergalactic gooey slimey viral mess. it's so primal soupy.
jezebel 08:05 - [Link] - Comments ()
On May 25, 1925, John T. Scopes was indicted in Tennessee for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
Thousands of bloggers post their photos on the Internet, hoping that strangers will come look at them and comment.
-- by Sarah Boxer
jezebel 06:10 - [Link] - Comments ()
it matters not that sir paul has never been there, or even that the nation and it's administration itself disintegrated years ago.
what's important and momentous is one beatle goes to russia and finally makes it back to the u.s.s.r.
for years now i've been trying to avoid anything patriotic. finally the virtual world enables me to virtually explain why. the column below, Why I'm not a Patriot, is something bordering on scholarly to help me to further exemplify my reasons as to why i haven't been and wouldn't want to be patriotic in the foreseeable future.
Why I'm not a Patriot
by David D. Perlmutter
This Memorial Day, it is important to pause and reflect on the use and meaning of formerly powerful words such as hero, patriot and sacrifice.
jezebel 12:58 - [Link] - Comments ()
happy memorial weekend ...
go fishing ... remember something.
here's the new exciting blog of tompaine.com
- on this day -
May 23, 1934, bank robbers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were shot to death in a police ambush as they were driving a stolen Ford Deluxe along a road in Bienville Parish, La.
jezebel 05:54 - [Link] - Comments ()
Cheney Named New EPA Chief
by Eric V. Schaeffer
A former EPA official ponders Whitman's replacement.
a thought bubble ... could it be? iraq was just a practice run? here's the beginning of the next big moment in the usa's internal regime non-change, a resounding thud in the onward goose-stomp march of the apparitional new world order.
or am i having more delusions?
jezebel 12:37 - [Link] - Comments ()
two jewels, and two new columns as well, for all us shrub-aware, water-walker watchers.
first, and most important, arianna's latest words of wisdom, fresh reflections from the goddess of truth and beauty herself.
and now for the jewels. will bush's padded bush go down in history or just remain undercover, becoming evermore flaccid and limp with time?
"Fasten your crotch straps. With luck, we're in for a bumpy ride."
jezebel 08:20 - [Link] - Comments ()
since the early 1980s he's been around performing and using his intellect, speaking through his music (which became popular in punk times). he's always made a lot of sense. and now, refreshingly, elvis speaks the truth again.
jezebel 06:40 - [Link] - Comments ()
is it even halfway surprising that since the 1950s, probably earlier, we poor humans were doomed to ultimately have no attention spans? from birth we are constantly inundated with devices and thrust into environments where instant gratification is practically nurtured or even required in some cases.
but i guess that's just growing pains for this communication revolution we created. now we're swept away within it's ever-increasing, overpowering flow. we are doomed to multi-task for the rest of our lives.
it's that exponential need for speed, another human achilles' heel.
jezebel 13:06 - [Link] - Comments ()
one of my favorite short stories is "the metamorphosis," by franz kafka, one of my favorite writers. "the metamorphosis" is about a person who morphs into a giant insect one day, and never changes back. some people say it's a cockroach.
years after first reading that story, i went away to university and studied invertebrate zoology for a while. i learned to respect many other species on this planet besides just the ones with backbones after that. and i really gained a lot of respect for cockroaches. they are one of the oldest living species on this planet.
they are the ultimate survivors. egyptians revered and adored them as scarobs, a much more noble name to call them. for egyptians, scarobs represented everlasting life, another aspect of ultimate survival, something most of us oi'ers are good at.
so i thought this reuters article appropriate:
jezebel 09:10 - [Link] - Comments ()
here's a new one for all us einstein freaks. (as of this posting http://www.alberteinstein.info is not yet open.)
by DENNIS OVERBYE
When Albert Einstein died in 1955 in Princeton, N.J., he left behind several thousand documents, including letters, scientific manuscripts, speeches and political writings.
For the last four decades historians and physicists have been combing the world for more and laboriously publishing these papers under the auspices of the Princeton University Press and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, which owns the copyright to Einstein's works.
More than 20 densely annotated volumes are expected, and so far 8 have been issued, each as hefty in weight and price as the subject matter it contains.
Now, however, a chunk of Einsteiniana is available to anyone with access to the Internet. Yesterday the Albert Einstein Archives at the Hebrew University and the California Institute of Technology, where the Einstein Papers Project has its headquarters, started a new Web site, http://www.alberteinstein.info.
It contains digitized images of some 900 Einstein papers as well as a searchable list of 43,000 documents in the archive. Hundreds more are held by people or institutions other than the Hebrew University and some within the official archive itself are closed until 2006. The Web site was inaugurated in connection with a meeting of Einstein scholars yesterday at the American Museum of Natural History in New York.
The online collection includes all 230 original scientific manuscripts and drafts that were in his possession when he died, said Dr. Diana Kormos Buchwald, a historian of science at the California Institute of Technology and the director of the papers project.
Among them, she said, is a notebook in which he worked out his general theory of relativity, which explained gravity as the warping of space-time geometry and is generally regarded as his greatest achievement. The notebook has been intently studied by historians in recent years.
In addition there are about 700 nonscientific writings and speeches and fragments from his travel diaries kept during trips to the United States, Japan and South America, among other places.
In an interview, Dr. Buchwald said that the idea of putting Einstein's papers online or on a CD had been discussed from the early days of the papers project. "We felt now that we had the technology and will to do it," she said.
As Dr. Gerald Holton, a historian and an Einstein expert at Harvard, gazed at a projection of pages from Einstein's notebook at the museum yesterday, he said, "I've been waiting for this for a long time."
Most manuscripts posted online have not yet appeared in the printed volumes, Dr. Buchwald said, explaining that many of the papers from Einstein's early years had been destroyed. As a result, most papers on the Web site are from the 1920's and later, she said. Those that have already been published will be presented on the Web site with full annotations and translations that have been published. The others will be Einstein unvarnished, in the original German.
In the meantime, the work of publishing Einstein's papers ? one of the most prodigious efforts in the history of the history of science ? will continue as before, she said. Next year the editors hope to publish the ninth volume, which will contain letters from 1919 and 1920, years when Einstein become world famous, finalized his divorce and remarried, and lived through the turmoil that followed World War I in Berlin.
jezebel 07:47 - [Link] - Comments ()
my middle name is vanity. i chose it for many reasons. one is because i was always fascinated with the seven deadly sins. vanity is one of them. it's also called pride.
pride is a valuable thing to have but it can be a deadly weapon that cuts both ways. be careful. keep it sheathed in a scabbard of humility and don't overuse it because it can lose its shine possibly forever. i just watched it happen to some people and it was not a fun thing to observe.
jezebel 08:39 - [Link] - Comments ()
the following is a forum post, copied from the website i spend too much time at, chessworld.net. it was originally posted by the site owner and is probably interesting to very few people, but i found it quite enjoyable because i am a hopeless chess addict. everyone else will just have to deal with it.
Chess apparently did start from the Aristocracy and migrated later to the masses, and if we take an Aristocrian perspective on the value of the pieces who perhaps first had a major influence of the game.
1) The pawns - these were given extra priveledges to advance two squares instead of one - perhaps they were once 0.75 or less in value and now 1 in value since the extra priveledges. The French had a hand in evolving their activities with the "en-passant" rule which punished them for this arrogant advancement.
2) The Knights and bishops - The Knights echoe the knights of the round table, but the knights were not related to the church like the bishops, so the bishops traditionally assumed a higher value. The church had an influence over the king in the oldern times.
3) The King - Obviously priceless
4) The Queen - The Queen had also been promoted in the history of chess to make her more exciting. She used to only move one square at a time.
There is an interesting two paragraphs related to the migration of chess from the Aristocracy to the masses:-
It was in Spain, under the Moors, that the greatest increase in the popularity of chess came. It was here that the first European work on chess, that of Alfonso the Wise, was written. With the Renaissance, Italy, became a center for the game and by this time it was beginning to assume its modern Queen became greatly magnified. Castling was gradually evolved and the pawn gained its power of moving two squares initially. Chess was still a game for courts and the nobility. Elizabeth I of England and Philip II of Spain were both keen players. The latter encouraged and patronized Ruy Lopez and the first real books, by Ruy Lopez , Damiano and Lucena, were written.But it was the Italians, with Leonardo da Cutri and Paolo Boi and later with Greeco and Salvio, who dominated the sixteenth centuries.
In the eighteenth century France with the great Philidor led the world. Now the game was passing from the courts and aristocracy to the men of literature and science, in fact to the middle classes, and theory was being rapidly developed on a modern scale. This in turn meant that England, where the middle classes really first came to some sort of power, was a great centre for chess. Staunton wrested the supremacy from France in a famous match against Saint-Amant, and then, with the remarkable comet-like interval of the great US master Pani Morphy, the chief power in chess came to be Germany."
jezebel 06:10 - [Link] - Comments ()
it's 545 am and the sun is coming up. too bad. but at least some of the scattered clouds in the sky are pinkish. i hope that means it's gonna rain. that would vastly improve the day.
everything you always wanted to know about googling but didn't understand how to ask.
jezebel 06:19 - [Link] - Comments ()
from my perspective karaoke is the latest hula hoop. it's a modern version of sing-around-the-campfire with too much electronic assistance. and people don't have to know how to sing to participate. wailing is permitted.
i've only seen/heard it first-hand once but that's because i actively endeavor to avoid it. so far i have been relatively successful. the one failure was when i went into a nearby chinatown restaurant to get some take-out food a couple years ago and it started happening right there in the dining room where people were eating, way loud, while i waited for my food to cook. i was freaked.
i endured, mostly enjoyed many years of live, loud, viscera-vibrating punk rock but i couldn't even begin to withstand the aural onslaught of karaoke.
jezebel 10:48 - [Link] - Comments ()
"All the pipes and drums of political rallies and remembrance day parades; all the ink of history books, policy papers, executive summaries, and polemical tracts; all the solemn newsbytes, sturm und drang and spin of media coverage are pointless here at the edge of Gaza. Talk or yell, scream or rationalize, pontificate or analyze all you want, but it all boil down to this: A husband, a wife, and their three small children clinging to the vain hope of home and normalcy in a shattered neighborhood of demolished houses."
jezebel 08:55 - [Link] - Comments ()
And Here's Where It Gets Uninteresting
By TOM McNICHOL
THERE are plenty of boring Web logs out there, online diaries whose authors dutifully recount their thoughts and actions in excruciating detail. But Dave Walker, a 32-year-old cartoonist and Web editor from Cookham, England, has claimed the distinction of writing "The Dullest Blog in the World."
Mr. Walker has raised dull blogging to an art form by meticulously chronicling mundane events in his life: checking e-mail, turning his head to the right, walking past the ironing board, and thinking about making some food. His minimalist musings have attracted something of a cult following, with his blog www.wibsite.com/wiblog/dull/ counting about 85,000 page views a month. Seldom has dullness generated such keen interest.
"I've been utterly surprised by the attention it's received," Mr. Walker said by phone. "I guess a lot of people are getting the joke. Although if you read the comments on the site, some people aren't. They'll write things like, 'This blog is really dull!' But that's O.K., too."
Mr. Walker's deadpan reports are delivered with the economy of haiku, quietly celebrating the humdrum. One recent entry, "Making a Small Noise," reads in its entirety: "The room was quiet so I tapped the arm of my chair. It wasn't a particularly interesting noise, so I stopped after about 4 taps and sat in silence."
Another item, "Hole," reads: "Some workmen had dug a hole in the road in order to maintain some essential services. A barrier and warning notice had been placed around it to prevent the general public from falling in."
Not all entries feature so much action. In "Not Saying Anything," Mr. Walker recounts, "I was at a meeting and became aware that I had nothing of any interest to add to the discussion. So I said nothing, and the discussion continued."
Mr. Walker launched The Dullest Blog in the World last November, posting it at www.wibsite.com, a Christian site he maintains when he's not busy as a youth worker at Holy Trinity Church, serving an Anglican congregation in Cookham, 25 miles west of London. The blog's dullness was inspired - if that is the correct word - by Mr. Walker's careful study of the blogosphere.
"I realized that blogs tend to be either highly interesting or else something that's rather the opposite of that," he said with characteristic understatement. "So it seemed like quite a good target for a bit of creative satire."
Mr. Walker's boring blog quickly became a hit as other bloggers linked to his site, drawing more visitors and still more links. Visitors to the blog not only read his dull doings but also take part in the joke. Each entry is accompanied by reader comments that often extend the dull premise to even more mind-numbing lengths.
In response to his "Blinking at Least Once" entry, one reader commented, "If you blink with only one eye, it is a wink." Another chimed in: "I was going to make a comment, then it occurred to me it was not necessary. So I haven't."
Another asked, apropos of nothing: "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"
Such insights have attracted a loyal following. Ine Thereze Gransaeter, a 33-year-old journalist and blogger living in Oslo, said she checks The Dullest Blog in the World every day.
"I like it because it is about all the small things you don't think about," Ms. Gransaeter wrote in an e-mail. "There are so many blogs that are only interesting to the person writing them."
So how does Mr. Walker come up with such reliably dull stuff week after week?
"I actually find it surprisingly easy," he said a bit sheepishly. "The thing is to think of what you're doing when you're not particularly doing anything."
Despite his growing number of fans, Mr. Walker said he had not been tempted to make his blog more interesting.
"Making it more interesting would be a sure way to lose followers," he said. "So I wouldn't look for any interesting developments at all."
jezebel 06:23 - [Link] - Comments ()
ten things you always wanted to know about lunar eclipses but weren't really interested enough to bother asking.
jezebel 18:32 - [Link] - Comments ()
i don't trust clowns.
how can you trust anyone with a fake smile? or anyone who even resembles a smiley face? except of course jack, the ping-pong ball head. i think he's cool.
i didn't see the killer clowns movie either.
the process of de-evolution continues with reality tv and modern media in general. remember the 80s band devo. that's what they were all about.
we are devo / just a bunch of spudboys looking for the real tomato /
... devo lyric from far ago.
jezebel 07:58 - [Link] - Comments ()
retro review --
i never saw ET when it played in theatres. i skipped watching it on video as well. until last year it was shown on network tv.
unfortunately i watched it then. now i can truly say it is worth missing. after all those years i should have followed my instincts and avoided it altogether.
it affected me like most other spielberg movies i've seen -- difficult to swallow. if his movies were vegetables they would be brussels sprouts.
wait. that's an insult to brussels sprouts.
it is wise to avoid ET
jezebel 19:42 - [Link] - Comments ()
happy mother's day!
i tried calling both mothers at both the numbers but no answer.
i called you and then grandma's. hope i didn't call the wrong numbers.
have a good mother's day.
happy mother's day. lotsa' love to both you and grandma.
and if you feel left out dad, happy mother's day, lotsa' love and all that stuff to you too, or even if you don't feel left out.
let's just make it equal opportunity and call it happy parental units day.
jezebel 13:48 - [Link] - Comments ()
the phenomenon of freaky hero worship is portrayed in one of my all-time fave books, and no, it's not the only book i ever read. it actually does qualify as classic modern literature.
one of the many subplots is: a disabled person becomes like one of those jim jones type people and his followers do lots of grim but almost believable things merely to adore their mutant guru.
the book is "geek love" by katherine dunn. it is a very good example of what modern literature should be.
as i've said many times, i highly recommend this book for any person, geek or not. it's magical and helps the reader's mind do amazing mental gymnastics about life and the world. it is fiction based on the facts of life.
"geek love" gives the reader an empathetic point of view that we can all learn something from, on many levels, while both laughing and crying with the magical words of katherine dunn.
jezebel 06:23 - [Link] - Comments ()
this cut & paste thing is taking up too much of my time and space but i can't seem to stop. as a matter of fact it seems to be getting worse oh well...
matronym (MA-truh-nim) noun
A name derived from the name of a mother or maternal ancestor. Also metronym. [From Latin metr- (mother) + Greek -onym (name, word).]
It's easy to see that the terms maternal, maternity, matron, and matrimony have something to do with the sense "mother" and are related to today's word but what could metropolis, material, matter, matriculate, and matrix have in common with them? A metropolis is, literally, a mother city; matter and material derive from Latin materia, woody part of a tree, its source of growth; one matriculates to what is to be an alma mater; and matrix comes from Latin matrix, a female animal kept for breeding. All of these terms are ultimately offsprings of the Indo-European root mater-.
Happy Mother's Day (May 11) to mothers everywhere! -Anu
"Then there was Stephanie, the cow, contentedly chewing her cud in the pastures at Ottawa's experimental farm until along came Stephanie, of the engendered human variety, to object that she considered it `offensive´ to have to share her matronym with a cow. So -- presto! -- faster than you can say `tax cut,´ the farm´s director announced that henceforth all cows will be called by gender-neutral names like Poopsie or Moo."
jezebel 06:05 - [Link] - Comments ()
really i don't know what i believe in. as a preacher's kid survivor i am aware of certain innate tendencies and try to weigh things carefully, because in the end, as a final result, it could all turn out to be as dangerously factual as the existence of saint nicholas. i will not dispute anyone's belief in santa.
i feel aware of something, i just don't know what to call it. i am a very spiritual person if that makes any sense. it's the cherokee in me, i'm sure of that.
i know what i don't believe. does that have a term? that's what i am.
i would like to believe in reincarnation. that begs the frightening question: "what did i do to end up here, in my current incarnation? was i lizzie borden?"
i just prefer to think i am and always was jezebel, the first one, whenever that was. it was in some cave somewhere. then later came the one that got thrown out the tower, trampled by horses and then eaten by dogs, i still retain a few of her memories. then i was a few of the forgettable jezebels that came later and now there's me."
years ago, a pop band called depeche mode wrote a song i liked that explains one aspect of many concerning my current philosophy of life. the refrain lyrics say,
"i don't want to spread any blasphemous rumours/
but i think that god's got a sick sense of humor./
and when i die i expect to find him laughing."
no hard feelings god, i can relate.
jezebel 14:11 - [Link] - Comments ()
"everything we do is predetermined."
when people say that it makes me wonder how they can say it and take any responsibility for anything that happens in their lives.
if everything is predetermined, then why do we have the freedom of choice? or is that just an illusion? are we just marionettes going through life on strings and living by the whims of others? are we pawns, fooled into thinking we go where we choose, but in reality, helplessly waiting to be moved from square to square by those who manipulate us, while we wash our own hands of any consequence or responsibility from what we've ever done--after all, we have no choice, a dreadfully boring existence from my perspective.
would a benevolent god/dess do that to us? how else would things be predetermined? who or what would have done it?
jezebel 11:15 - [Link] - Comments ()
i often wonder if anyone is able to access these nytimes articles i'm posting...
being reared and raised in tornado alley, oklahoma in the washita valley to be more precise, i can truly relate to what this person says about remaining calm in tornado season in tornado country. from time to time people told me that washita valley, the geologic structure where our little town was, is located, fended off tornadoes. i often wonder if that is true. at least i survived (that's a joke) as most others have survived and will continue to do so, from tornadoes at least. i hope.
actually when i got older and began living away from home i moved to florida to experience hurricanes, which are just tornadoes in a bigger format. stormy weather is basically a spiritual thing for me. why fear that?
the world is not over yet. raed's blog continues. the shock and awe must be wearing off a bit. just wait till the effects of the depleted uranium kick in.
jezebel 06:05 - [Link] - Comments ()
here on this tiny island in the pacific one would never have guessed the effects from sars paranoia would be so drastic. it seems the little neighborhood i'm living in, chinatown, is taking the brunt of the effects. doesn't seem fair really, but what's fair these days?
it's ok. keeps life interesting, wouldn't want any idle thoughts of rest or relaxation invading our minds.
jezebel 08:51 - [Link] - Comments ()
not sure why this man is enjoyable to me. maybe because he's one of the few entertainers who say things that actually almost sound logical when he talks. sometimes they are even funny.
maybe it's because most things he says when performing or writing usually always make one think.
Bill Maher: Onstage but Still on the Edge
By ALESSANDRA STANLEY
"I think women's sports are boring."
"I am for mad cow disease."
"I think no sometimes means yes."
"I thing Vegas was better when it was run by the mob."
Bill Maher concludes "Victory Begins at Home," his one-man Broadway show, by reciting that politically incorrect credo. Since Sept. 11 he has become, if not one of the most outspoken critics of the Bush administration, at least one of the most contrarian.
He mocks the country's enemies as well as its leadership. "Bin Laden was the 17th of 55 children," Mr. Maher said during his act on Friday. Shaking his head knowingly, he added, "It's always the middle 20, isn't it?"
When he attacks government policy, as he does throughout his 90-minute monologue at the Virginia Theater (as well as on his weekly late-night talk show on HBO), he does it without any sanctimonious hand-wringing over civilian casualties or cultural imperialism. In fact he supports cultural imperialism. "Rule of law is better than the opposite," he said. And so is "a free appliance with purchases."
Mr. Maher is not a humanitarian; he is a libertarian who bears a somewhat vengeful grudge against the administration that helped hound him off ABC. The White House chided him for a remark he made right after Sept. 11 that seemed to impugn the bravery of the American military, and the network later canceled his late-night show, "Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher." As he put it, a bit angrily, "I was the first to be Dixie Chicked."
But libertarianism, like polka dots, should be worn lightly. It is an épater le bourgeois ideology, the political equivalent of an Oscar Wilde bon mot: "The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
Mr. Maher is clever and provocative, but he is no Oscar Wilde. Beneath his riffs there is a tetchy, self-righteous tone that makes him hard to like.
And a successful live performance usually requires a secret lovability. That does not mean a comedian has to be likable; Jackie Mason and Larry David based their careers on articulating the most virulent, petty hatreds.
But the best comedians also project the illusion that if only a fan who truly understood their jokes could get the comedian alone, they would become boon companions. (Women adored Paul Lynde, for example, precisely because they could fantasize that with the proper coaxing, the maniacally spiteful Lynde would become their confidant and pit bull.)
Even the funniest performers can fall short. In his early days as a stand-up comedian, Mr. David's disdain for his audiences was so evident and crippling that he had to turn to television writing, a career adjustment that luckily led to "Seinfeld" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
Mr. Maher, too, does not give the impression that fans are welcome to banter with him backstage after the show.
"Victory Begins at Home" is loosely based on the book Mr. Maher published last October, "When You Ride Alone You Ride With Bin Laden" (New Millenium), a collection of essays and slogans for the current campaign against terrorism that update World War II propaganda posters. (One is "Loose Lips Can Save Ships.")
His delivery is smooth and persuasive, and he took command of the stage with the help of only what he described as a "Jack and coke" and an electronic teleprompter hung above the audience.
His body language is defiant, not welcoming. Mr. Maher has a large head and a small, trim dancer's body. When he places his fists on his hips, he looks a little like Mary Martin as Peter Pan.
And Peter Pan is a role model. Denouncing fidelity, monogamy and marriage as the mistakes of an overly "feminized" culture, Mr. Maher argued against the equality of the sexes' fantasies. "Yours bore us, and ours offend you," he said. His rants about women were the only material that drew hisses from the audience last Friday.
HBO already allows him the freedom to use obscene language on the air, so Mr. Maher does not bring new dimensions to his Broadway act. Even in the question-and-answer period at the end of the show, he bats away questions with scripted jokes that he has already used on television. Asked about Fox News's claims of "fair and balanced" coverage, Mr. Maher mugged that Americans actually did hear both sides of the debate. "We heard from generals and retired generals."
Mostly, the solo format robs him of a chance to do what he does best: battle wits with actors, politicians and writers. Mr. Maher's ability to tease the ferocious and verbose right-wing commentator Ann Coulter into a stunned silence is a regular comic highlight of his talk show. He plays Lucille Ball to her Gale Gordon.
"Victory Begins at Home" is best suited to audiences hungry for a longer, more intense television monologue about the hypocrisies and delusions of the White House, Congress and other powerful institutions. Fans who hope to see a different, more intimate side of Bill Maher may be disappointed.
-- new york times
jezebel 06:42 - [Link] - Comments ()
-- cinco de mayo! --
some of my fondest and most awesome memories from childhood are those big black wallclouds of oklahoma thunderstorms which many times spawned some unbelievable twisters.
there's nothing like a good old tornado alley vortex to liven up your day and illuminate the unarguable face of god.
jezebel 07:32 - [Link] - Comments ()
The Iceman Cometh
By MAUREEN DOWD
New York Times
LONG BEACH, Calif. The tail hook caught the last cable, jerking the fighter jet from 150 m.p.h. to zero in two seconds.
Out bounded the cocky, rule-breaking, daredevil flyboy, a man navigating the Highway to the Danger Zone, out along the edges where he was born to be, the further on the edge, the hotter the intensity.
He flashed that famous all-American grin as he swaggered around the deck of the aircraft carrier in his olive flight suit, ejection harness between his legs, helmet tucked under his arm, awestruck crew crowding around. Maverick was back, cooler and hotter than ever, throttling to the max with joystick politics.
Compared to Karl Rove's "revvin' up your engine" myth-making cinematic style, Jerry Bruckheimer's movies look like "Lizzie McGuire."
This time Maverick didn't just nail a few bogeys and do a 4G inverted dive with a MIG-28 at a range of two meters. This time the Top Gun wasted a couple of nasty regimes, and promised this was just the beginning. Mav swaggered across the deck to high-five his old gang: his wise flight instructor, Viper; his amiable sidekick, Goose; his chiseled rival, Iceman.
MAVERICK: I feel the need . . .
GOOSE: The need for speed!
ICEMAN: You're really a cowboy.
MAVERICK: What's your problem?
ICEMAN: Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash. You didn't need to take all that water survival training in the White House swimming pool. The Abraham Lincoln was practically docked, only 30 miles off shore, after 10 months at sea. They had to steer it away from land for you. If you'd waited a few hours, you could've just walked aboard. You and Rove are making a gorgeous campaign video on the Pacific to cast you as the warrior president for 2004, but back on shore, things are ugly. The California economy's bleeding, even worse than other states'. When you took office, the unemployment rate in San Jose was 1.7 percent; by February of this year, it had risen to 8.5 percent. Your motorcade didn't bother to stop in the depressed high-tech corridor in Silicon Valley. Every time you cut taxes and raise deficits while you're roaring ahead with a pre-emptive military policy, you're unsafe. National unemployment goes up to 6 percent and you just hammer Congress to pass your tax cut. The only guys sure about their jobs these days are defense contractors connected to Republicans and the Carlyle Group, which owns half of the defense plant you visited here. You're dangerous.
MAVERICK: That's right, Iceman. I am dangerous.
ICEMAN: You can fly, Maverick. But you, Cheney and Rummy are strutting around on a victory tour when you haven't found Osama or Saddam or WMD; you haven't figured out how you're going to stop tribal warfare and religious fanaticism and dangerous skirmishes with our soldiers; you don't yet know how to put Afghanistan and Iraq back together so that a lot of people over there don't hate us. And why can't you stop saying that getting rid of Saddam removed "an ally" of Al Qaeda and was payback for 9/11? You know we just needed to jump somebody in that part of the world.
MAVERICK: That part of the world is what I call a target rich environment, sorta like a Democratic debate. Hey, Miss Iceman, why don't you head to the Ladies Room? John Kerry and John Edwards are already there, fixin' their hair all pretty-like. Howard Dean's with 'em, trying on a dress, and Kucinich is hemming it for him.
VIPER: You're arrogant, son. I like that in a pilot. You're a hell of an instinctive flyer. You're a lot like your old man. He was a natural, heroic son of a gun. I flew with him in his torpedo bomber in '44. Is that why you fly the way you do? Trying to prove something by doing the opposite? He tried to get deficits down. He did it right. And he knew you had to have wingmen among the allies. You can't buzz the tower of the world every time you go up. You can't just jettison the Top Gun global rules of engagement.
MAVERICK: Sure I can. Like greed, aggression is good. Aggression has marked the upward surge of mankind. Aggression breeds patriotism, and patriotism curbs dissent. Aggression has made Democrats cower, the press purr and the world quake. Aggression ? you mark my words ? will not only save humanity, but it will soon color all the states Republican red. Mission accomplished.
sometimes maureen dowd cracks me up, makes me laugh. i wish i had her wit.
jezebel 06:38 - [Link] - Comments ()
we all have our own definition of beauty and it seems we all draw the line in different places when it comes to the boundary of separation, or integration, between actual inner beauty and outer beauty.
beauty is not skin deep. it goes all the way to the bone. most of beauty is not visible. it's called inner beauty. we all have it.
we just cultivate it differently sometimes.
jezebel 20:00 - [Link] - Comments ()
just wanted to say thanks for helping me better understand my own innate reactions. it's good to know that after almost 44 years i'm still learning things about myself.
it's all about balance, that's been my life's self-imposed task -- the quest for balance.
now i understand how it relates. thanks to you now i understand why i react so strongly to being singled out -- even for good things like free money. i just didn't recognize it because it was so blindingly obvious. it is just another form of discrimination. it's merely on the other end of the spectrum.
if at all possible, i will not allow people to single me out as "the beautiful one," etc. (even though i almost always am of course.)
but seriously, it's as you said, discrimination, pure and simple. it's probably the biggest peeve i have and maybe that's why i was so blind to the fact that it is discrimination nevertheless.
if i'm gonna be singled out of a crowd it better be for a good reason, not a snide comment and definitely not a reward for existing, that's all.
jezebel 14:08 - [Link] - Comments ()