Useless to anyone  

Hi! I'm an iBook!

This page is powered by Blog Studio.






The Fury of the Cow

Thursday, July 31, 2003


Watch this guy make dinner tonight!

posted for you by jhawk 6:19 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Far Side Photoshops
This one is for you steer.
Something Awful has a pretty good Photoshop contest every Friday. For some reason he named it Photoshop Phriday. Some sort of clever spark of inspiration on that one probably. :-P

The best one I've seen so far Far Side ones.

posted for you by jhawk 3:37 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

The Royals got the laid down on them for the second night in a row by the White Sox. Arggghhh....

posted for you by jhawk 11:38 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

SHARK WEEK is back!

posted for you by jhawk 9:40 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, July 30, 2003


posted for you by jhawk 3:08 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Want to know how lame it is where I live? This was the reader's poll of the local newspaper.


Family Circus

posted for you by jhawk 2:44 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

File sharing
There has been lots of articles and comments about ways to protect yourself against the RIAA and your file sharing lifestyle. Like, not sharing your folder of downloads, etc. Pffftt!! Get MORPHEUS! It's got privacy features that make sense built into it. connect through proxy servers, and blacklist snooping IPs (probably the RIAA looking at you). No Mac version yet, so I haven't tried it, but someone should and let me know if it's any good.

posted for you by jhawk 4:28 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Stop! Banana theif!

posted for you by jhawk 2:10 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

With the amount of stupid people I encounter on a daily basis, I've often wondered how many of them manage not to get themselves killed before 9am. We've legislated enough that we have a safety warning on just about everything. I'm sure the labels have kept at least more than one person from trying to save some time in the morning and deciding against blow drying their hair in the shower.

posted for you by jhawk 10:04 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Are you a target of the RIAA? Look here and search to see if you're already on the hit list.

posted for you by jhawk 9:26 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Flies and Telescopes
There is this fly in here. He's driving us crazy. Everytime we get
the flyswatter out, he disappears. So we give up, and 5 minutes later
he's buzzing our heads again. I hate these insects.

Saw a show with a telescope tonight. Thought to myself, "Self,
wouldn't it be cool to have one of those?" It might be fun. I'd most
likely end up with a broken leg and have to stay inside in my
wheelchair and spy on the neighbors.

posted for you by jhawk 11:00 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Oldy times
You ever wonder what you would have been doing had you been born in like the 1800's? Would you be out on the frontier? Working as a sailor on a ship headed to Europe? I'd probably have been an accountant. That makes the daydreaming about it pretty dull.

posted for you by jhawk 10:48 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Ducks and numbers
Speaking of accountants, we're thinking of hiring this duck as our accountant.
Possibly this duck

The agency we've been in contact with claims to have extremely
qualified ducks. I'm not sure they can add, but I ain't arguing with a bunch of ducks again. Strength in numbers isn't a cliche.

Sorry if you never know what you will find on this page :-)

posted for you by jhawk 10:45 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Saturday, July 26, 2003

Meow? I got your meow...
The insane reality of it all is that I know what that cat said was pure idiocy, but it made so much damn sense.

posted for you by jhawk 11:46 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Later that same day...
Often in fits of boredom are spurred creative ideas and thoughts, and sometimes it's stuff like this:

Fools they all are...for they know not where their shoes will find them.

I have not found a better reason than for cheese.

Those of you who know, will. Those of you who don't know, will not.

What level does your anguish have to reach before it reaches litiguous level?

I read on a blog from somewhere in Iowa, that this family has finished their Family Mission Statement. Something unwholesome about that.

In the end aren't we all just a little too worried?

My neighbor's dog has all the answers, but refuses to cooperate.

The so-called important 4-W questions. Who, What, When, Where. More important than those is "Bottle or Draft?"

Infinite are life's possibilities. We just don't live long enough. Just pick 2 and run with them. No, not one. Idiot.

Look! My cellphone can take pictures. What a useful tool! Wait a minute...

I'm out of tape. My paper airplanes will be of considerably less quality.

If white is all colors, and black is none, then what the hell is gray?

When is it that the cows will come home? I just need a general idea, because it seems they're out a long time.

And, why are they out anyway? The horses have been back for hours.

I know! We'll bring computers into the work environment to help you work more efficient. Now, if we can only find the right software to negate the efficient nature of the computer...

This goes against conventional wisdom. And conventions are where most of the best wisdom comes from. Usually at a Holiday Inn.

Eddie Rabbit loves a rainy night. That's what he says anyway. Unless he's lying, which I'm not of course implying. I almost said Eddie Money, but we're not sure he cares much for rainy nights. Unless he's got a garden. Which I wouldn't know.

I think it would be cool to be interviewed by Barbara Walters and have her ask me what kind of tree I'd like to be. I'd say, Sycamore, and when she asked why, I'd get all defensive and say "You got a problem with that?" Flip my chair over and then storm out.

To those viewing this site in Internet Explorer: Is your TV a black and white set?

posted for you by jhawk 11:43 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

I asked the IS guys today if I could have a Mac at my desk instead, and they mumbled something like "job security" or something.

posted for you by jhawk 11:43 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Has there ever been a time that you're at work and so bored, that poking yourself in the eye with your finger seems like a fun and interesting thing to do?

posted for you by jhawk 11:35 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Opera vs Dell
Opera users again finding a major site giving them the finger. Trying to get support from Dell on their website and using Opera as your browser will get you nowhere.

posted for you by jhawk 5:04 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, July 24, 2003

Tell me you don't want to smack these people?

posted for you by jhawk 10:30 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

We have a laptop we use for testing running windows XP. It was running
horribly slow the past 2 weeks. You'd click something and it'd take
about 30 seconds to open. Several of my co-workers took "looks" at it
to see why it was so slow. They didn't know. Recomendation? Reload

I got it out today because I needed to test something on XP. I booted
it up, and man was it slow. On a hunch, I open the task manager and
look at performance. It's a 100PU usage. Now what the heck? I
haven't opened a thing yet. Take a look at the processes. They are 3
using 30-40ach, fluctuating. One is 1.exe and another is ~1.exe.
Wha? Then there is oocfwm.exe. Hmmmm.... looks very odd to me. Quick
Google and we got the answer. WORM. W32.HLLW.Nebiwo to be exact.

Now this is a test laptop, no email setup on it. Shouldn't have been
used to surf the net. How it got on there, everyone seems to have no
idea. Right... Anyway, I get the removal tool off Symantec and the
laptop is clean now. It had over 100 infected files.

Runs like a champ now.

posted for you by jhawk 9:08 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Don't write your bank robbery note on your old resume.

posted for you by jhawk 8:52 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Those crazy French, they'll do anything to coverup for the fact they tried to take out Lance in the Tour.

posted for you by steer 3:57 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

I'm going to start carrying a 12 inch metal ruler with me around work. Whenever I hear someone say something stupid, they'll get a rap on the knuckles. Things that were explicitly covered in the meeting yesterday that I know you were in, should mean I won't hear you telling someone incorrect information. Unless you're just an idiot, which will warrant 2 raps on the knuckles.

Plus maybe a mean stare.

posted for you by jhawk 3:46 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

News Flash
Eiffel Tower is on fire. News just breaking. Go here to see the webcam for the tower.

P.S. If you're getting your news here, then this is probably no longer breaking news for you. :-P

posted for you by jhawk 2:07 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Can read up on iPhoto here. Do it!

posted for you by jhawk 10:18 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Monday, July 21, 2003

I've been accumulating a large amount of various manuals on my desk lately. I don't know to what half of them even belong. For some reason now, I know more acronyms than I'll ever need.

posted for you by jhawk 3:44 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Same. Again?
Email sent to entire department with pertinent information. 10 minutes later that same email is forwarded to the entire department by manager with heading FYI. Nobody says a thing about it.

posted for you by jhawk 10:50 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Here is what you can do with your old Compaq computers.

posted for you by steer 11:27 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Friday, July 18, 2003

Heading to the Royals game tonight. They beat up on Seattle last night, and I'm hoping for a repeat this evening.

posted for you by jhawk 1:57 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Go Royals

(Ed Zurga/AP)

posted for you by jhawk 9:27 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, July 17, 2003

Well Martha, after I get my teeth, comb my mullet, chain my dog and close up my trailer, I'm off to Vegas to hunt. If you need gear you can get it here.

posted for you by steer 4:14 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Watch it buddy!

SEALAB: 2021

posted for you by jhawk 3:45 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Very few times a day do I not hear someone use the term, "I'll tell you what."

What the hell does that mean anyway?

posted for you by jhawk 3:29 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Neo says, "Believe in Morpheus not me!"
The RIAA continues to show how much it fails to understand technology and it's ability to adapt and quickly find ways overcome roadblocks. The RIAA wants to find out who all you file sharing people are, sue your socks off, and claim victory through legislation over technology. So technology keeps changing and the RIAA is staying one step behind. Morpheus has released new software with functionality to help mask your file sharing activities. Go get it.

posted for you by jhawk 11:12 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Help! Help!
"You've got to help me, I can't get this crazy squirrel off my shoulder," the unidentified caller told a police dispatcher.

posted for you by jhawk 10:01 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Grandpa? I don't know where he went. I think he went down to the farmer's market.

posted for you by steer 6:41 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

I wish
For the life of me I can't find the words to describe why I feel this way, but I want to live close enough to Kaufman Stadium to go to lots of Royals games. I wish I was at one right now. Oh, to become a bleacher bum, and spend my evenings taking in a game. Yes, baseball. Always been a bigger basketball fanatic than I have been baseball, but something about it lures me recently.

posted for you by jhawk 3:33 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Is this the end of Netscape? Will Mozilla continue on unfettered? Tune in next week. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

posted for you by jhawk 9:02 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Isn't it sad that Victor Borge is dead and Kasey Kasem is still alive. If you would like to check on others see here.

posted for you by steer 6:38 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Been a while since I posted about the KC Royals, but they're back in first place and have a sizable lead of 7 games over the Chicago White Sox. The All Star break is here, and that means their in good shape after half the season has gone by. It's amazing that a team that was one of the worst in baseball last year is in first place this year. We can only hope this continues through to the post season.

posted for you by jhawk 2:31 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thumb happenings
If you have visited here frequently you'll know of the Arcata, CA police logs. The guy writes reports them with a certain flair. Well, I went to read a few as I hadn't been there in quite a while. Then I found something interesting. The town has a statue in their Plaza area of President McKinley. It was vandalized sometime in May. Someone stole his thumb. Yes, the thumb. As you can read here, it caused quite a stir.

Several rewards were offered for it's return. These included $500 offered by the Mayor, and a stack of CDs as tall as the person who recovers the thumb offered by a local radio station. With such enticements like this it was only a matter of time before the thumb was returned, and it was. Yay! Details came out about the recovery of the thumb.

Then more odd things happened. The man who helped recover the thumb, got himself in a little trouble. He got himself a little drunk, decided to hang out in a trailer park, and says he was harrassed as a "snitch" for helping return the thumb. Other witnesses agree on the drunk part of it, but claim he was asked to leave and sprayed them with pepper spray. Either way it landed the thumb dude in jail. The Mayor had earlier warned, Don't get drunk and get arrested with this. No word was found on whether the returner of the thumb got his CDs or not.

The top of the Arcata Eye's website says it all.
President McKinley's thumb is back where it should be - on his right hand, which is either uplifted in a half-hearted panhandling position or pointing feebly toward the horizon in some sort of quasi-inspirational "go west" gesture. Anyway, the thumb's back on after being busted off and stolen in what Mayor Ornelas called a "punk-ass mean" incident.

P.S. Researching this story I also came across another incident in the past with that same statue, related on this site.
Tiffany's ice cream parlor alerted police to a person defacing the statue of William McKinley on the Arcata Plaza. Police apprehended a suspect and released him with a warning not to stick cheese in McKinley's ears and nose anymore.

posted for you by jhawk 10:11 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Monday, July 14, 2003

Just heard on KFOR. If you are going to steal clothing by taking off the security tags, do not, and I repeat, do not, put the security tags in your pocket and then try and walk out of the store. Doh!

posted for you by steer 1:07 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Math time


posted for you by jhawk 9:22 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Friday, July 11, 2003

Answer me!
Oh wait, there was one thing. I was on a conference call this morning for the final run down before going live next Monday for a market of ours for a new service. The call was to find out if there was any issues that would keep us from being able to go live on Monday. Nobody said anything. So it was determined to go live on Monday. Then I get a call 35 min later wanting to know why the service was having a problem. should have maybe mentioned this in the conference call. Luckily we got it fixed pretty quick, but it would have been nice to know a little earlier. Like, uh...when we asked.

posted for you by jhawk 4:02 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

I wish I had a nice 'I work with idiots' story to relate to you. I think I'm becoming desensitized to it now. It continues to happen, but I just don't have cognitive notice of it anymore. That makes it a lot less interesting around here :-P

posted for you by jhawk 3:52 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Another round of coughing and burning eyes for everyone!

posted for you by jhawk 8:28 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, July 10, 2003

Eat your heart out TSG

Pamplona, Spain--(TFC) After a long night of heavy drinking Satan, Hell, was arrested after streaking naked through the streets of Pamplona. It was reported Satan was seen in local bars drinking heavily and playing the drinking game 'quarters' till 4 am. Witnesses say he became agitated when out of money for another drink, he tried to pay with souls. The bouncers escorted him out of the bar where witnesses report hearing him exclaim, "I'll show you the scariest thing you ever seen." Police were not amused, and he was promptly arrested on charges of public drunkeness and lewd behavior.

posted for you by jhawk 1:57 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Woe is me :-)
The feeling that the whole thing could collapse at any moment, spiralling it into a horrible abyss of failure. But, maybe I'm taking cooking porkchops a little too serious.

posted for you by jhawk 1:37 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

It's witchcraft...
The Harry Potter books have created quite a stir. Besides selling millions of these books (I assume millions have been sold, research just ain't my thing man), people are worried it promotes witchcraft to kids. I think it's more dangerous to promote it to the dumbasses in the world.

posted for you by jhawk 1:03 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

At least the roads in Iraq will be salted in case of snow and ice.

posted for you by jhawk 9:26 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

The absolute weirdest belief when it comes to war I've ever heard. Wearing womens clothing will help protect you.

posted for you by jhawk 4:01 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thinning The Herd
In Palmdale Ca. a motorist was killed in a head-on collision just moments after exchanging obscene gestures with a motorist he was trying to pass. -Gazette-

posted for you by steer 10:29 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Imperial troops have entered the base...
Live in New England? A Stormtrooper? Here's the group you are looking for but didn't know you were looking for it. The New England Garrison: 501st Legion of Stormtroopers. These guys have an impressive amount of Imperial costumes. From Stormtroopers to those weird red Imperial Guards that were in Return of the Jedi for like 30 seconds. Of course, they have like 3 or 4 Boba Fets. What if one sprains an ankle or something, there's another right there to take his place. Costumes are dead on though. Much detail involved.

posted for you by jhawk 11:28 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Ok, so when did I become the "expert" in the all knowing, all seeing dept?At work all the guys now ask me to find out if something they were e-mailed is true or not. I made the mistake of correcting some people when they puported something they had received as true. I also told them where to look, since they also have access to the same sites I do. But, no, they now ask me. Oh, well the price of fame. Or are they making fun?

posted for you by steer 11:21 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Dear sender of the mass email to the entire department you just sent. Your use of large 26pt blue font is amazing. Was it intended to be in bold? I hope it was as it was a good choice. The parts that you also included with bright blinking blue background made it especially easy to read. I also enjoyed your use of a piece of Microsoft included clip art you added. This gave it the extra touch of professionalism needed for me to give your email it's needed weight. I hope to receive many more emails from you in the future.


P.S. Ignoring the spell checking feature earned my respect forever.

posted for you by jhawk 11:11 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Monday, July 07, 2003

Are the times a'changing? Apple has gained the rights to sell "The League of Extraodinary Gentlemen" soundtrack. There are no physical CDs being made. It's only offered for download from Apple's iTunes store. Of course, much cheaper than you could have bought it pre-burned on CD for you, $9.99.

I'm just curious if this is a testing of the waters by at least one record label to see if the online distribution model will work. They could have at least tried it with a better album than this. If this is in fact a test model, picking a symphonic album with limited appeal to begin with can be seen as either a safe play, or a set up for failure. It could be a safe bet if the record company didn't want to give Apple an album that may underperform for sales, and be lost out on some revenue if they didn't think the album would have done well in conventional sales. Or, they may want to provide that proof that everyone's clammoring for an online distribution model wouldn't work. Give them an album that will have slow sales.

Either way it's a cool thing that a major motion picture's soundtrack is going to be offered in this way. Could be that I'm overthinking this whole thing. ;-P

posted for you by jhawk 3:00 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Money to Burn
From Dave Barry's blog.
We are spending the weekend at a beach hotel on the west coast of Florida, where last night we witnessed an interesting incident. We went out to dinner, during which it rained really, really hard for about an hour. When we got back to the hotel, we saw, parked out front, a Bentley convertible sitting in the rain with the top down. We pointed this out to a bellman, who said the hotel staff had told the car owner -- who was (surprise!) in the bar -- several times that his car was turning into a Jacuzzi, and the owner had stated that he had three other Bentleys at home and did not care.

About 15 minutes later, the owner -- a guy in his 60s in expensive leisure clothes and a bad mullet hairstyle -- came out with his wife. They got into the car and drove off, in the rain, with the top still down.

Must be nice to be that rich. But then again, if I when the lottery Wednesday I might have to try this.

posted for you by jhawk 11:50 AM - [Link] - Comments ()