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The Fury of the Cow

Friday, October 31, 2003


I've been working on a web project at work. Kind of fell in my lap. I'm no web developer. Not even close. Taught myself HTML and Dreamweaver MX is my best friend. Now, don't get me wrong. I may use Dreamweaver but I do know my way around Notepad!! I may use Dreamweaver MX to layout stuff but I do the fine editing of things in Notepad. HTML is super simple if you can remember the correct placement of a " or a missing > that's causing your tables to look all funky.

Now the web project I was given was a simple one. Make at least some non-ugly pages that will contain pretty much just text information and a few pictures and such. Include a drop down menu for the various pages and such. Ok. Easy enough. Oh wait..... drop down menu? Oh like the one on some of our other pages? Yes? Crap...isn't that in JAVA? Yes it is. Ah man. I barely know that stuff. Jokes about coffee only get you so far with JAVA. I've managed to make a few thing in JAVA before. (yes I'll put JAVA in caps all the time! It's my blog!) I'm not all that familiar with it. I know it can be a powerful little language. I mean Microsoft hates it, can't be that bad right?

Well it got me thinking. What else should I use on the page? Show them I know more than they think right? Right. Ok... Maybe I should use some ASP? Ugh.... isn't that like some black poisonous snake that like, killed Cleopatra or something like that? That's all that jumps in my head. Just like with ColdFusion. Reminds me of some movie in the late 80's where some guy invents a new technique to achieve ColdFusion! But some evil government wants it for bad things. Probably Russian. It was always them.

Then someone asks me if I'm using PHP. What??!!?!! How could you ask that? I heard some guy thought he could fly while on that stuff and jumped off some building. You crazy dude?

I'll just settle for DHTML, it's like HTML but more dynamic. Not like that other lazy ass HTML. I'll just to stick to the easy stuff.

posted for you by jhawk 1:09 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I hate when people preface a sentence with "I'll tell you what..."

OK! Tell me already. Don't start of telling me that you're going to tell me something. When you start talking I'll have figured it out!

Yes, this really annoys me.

posted for you by jhawk 4:24 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Cardinal Install
Ailing Pope Installs 30 New Cardinals Most Cardinals not supported on Win 95. Also they have not passed Windows Logo Testing for Windows XP.

posted for you by jhawk 4:09 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Friday, October 17, 2003

I forgot to mention about the new iTunes is that they've added audiobooks!Not just because of the new Window's version but it coincides with it's launch. Joshua Hoover though reminded me of it today.

posted for you by jhawk 12:31 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Revolution keeps on revolving!

Welcome to the digital music revolution.

iTunes for Windows was released today. All you Windows users can now experience all that is iTunes. Best part, is it uses Rendevous from Apple to synch across your network to sync all you machines music collections together. Whether they're Mac or PC. Awesome. Great news for me!

posted for you by jhawk 4:43 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

No updates lately. Been fairly busy at work. Getting materials together for a training class I was teaching yesterday and also teaching the class. Today I'm getting training materials together for a different class on a different subject. This is a slightly longer class (2 days) and has a porous manual, missing important information.

posted for you by jhawk 11:30 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Monday, October 13, 2003

Rumor has it that a midwestern university located in Manhattan Kansas has used all it's alloted smoke and will have to finish the season with only mirrors

posted for you by steer 2:10 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Friday, October 10, 2003

Crazy New Yorkers. New York shop owners are refusing to take the new $20 bill. They think they're fake. Do they live under rocks up there? No TV, radio, or newspapers?

posted for you by jhawk 6:43 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Smartest State
Quite the shock it was reading about the smartest state rankings. It didn't help reinforce any notions about certain states.... :-P

posted for you by jhawk 3:19 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Hmmm... Interesting article. Getting picked last sucks.

posted for you by jhawk 3:14 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Job Security
Talk about creating your own job security. These spammers are selling their own anti-spam software.

posted for you by jhawk 4:22 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Do you remember the first time you encountered the Chinese finger-cuffs when you were real young? You stuck an index finger in each end and then tried to pull them out, only to start freaking out that you were now in fact stuck? I know I did.

posted for you by jhawk 4:12 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Sometimes I wonder what is the actual workload of my manager. One co-worker of mine in a different department found a bump in the carpet under their chair. Yes, a bump. What kind of bump or whatever I don't know. I was as confused by the description as you are. Apparently this bump keeps this person from being able to free-wheel it around their desk area very easy. Two managers have been working on the "bump" for like an hour. That's why I'm never amazed that I often recieve blank Excel spreadsheets in email purporting to contain the weeks latest stats.

posted for you by jhawk 4:06 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Just as I'm getting ready to step out the door for lunch, the sky opens up and 40,000 gallons of water start falling. Instant parking lot flood. Looks as if I'm eating from the vending machines today....

posted for you by jhawk 3:40 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Hockey is about to start! There's one more thing on TV that I'll have no reason to want to watch.

posted for you by jhawk 3:12 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Look! An elk!

There was an Elk sighting near here. The only reason that is news is that they are not native to this area. So... our local little paper's online version thought it was "news" enough to post a video captured of this elk online. You can see it too!

Sorry, it requires Realplayer. I'm going against my claims that Realplayer is a bane to all Windows versions, but I don't feel like converting the file. So there!

posted for you by jhawk 11:28 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

I'm still amazed by the number of people that work where I do that don't know the difference between "reply" and "reply all."

posted for you by jhawk 11:25 AM - [Link] - Comments ()

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Church of the Quivering Otter
For the Otter shall show the way.

Got this in email at work. Read some of it and it's just plain from an oddball. Looks like something I may have come up with bored one evening.

posted for you by jhawk 4:06 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

This question is for steer. Can you get charged with aggravated battery on yourself?

posted for you by jhawk 1:59 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Monday, October 06, 2003

They're making a movie based on Steve Martin's novella Shopgirl. I really liked his work on this novella, but I'm not sure what kind of movie it would make. Can't wait to see how he treats this adaptation to the big screen.

posted for you by jhawk 8:31 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Friday, October 03, 2003

Hey lady, you missed the garage.

posted for you by jhawk 7:44 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Heads up all you Internet Explorer users.

posted for you by jhawk 7:44 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Pop ups

Pop-up ads have people in fits. Everyone, and I mean everyone hates them. (except marketing people) Yahoo had an article on the most popular pop up blocking software. Good idea to have something to block pop ups.

Here's my problem with this article. Why are you adding even more software to your computer to do that simple task? Most people I know are running some flavor of Windows. They already are trying to run too much software at once. The new version of the Google toolbar will easily integrate with Internet Explorer and will block pop ups. But why add more software to an already bloated and slow web browser? Do yourself a favor and accomplish your pop up blocking with a nice free and easy application. Opera or Mozilla. You will find features in both browsers you never even knew you needed, and then won't be able to live without.

posted for you by jhawk 8:02 PM - [Link] - Comments ()

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

jhawk's law

The more brain energy you use toward trying to fix a problem at work, there is someone proportionally using less and less brain power working in a contradictary manner to you, unwittingly making your job harder.

posted for you by jhawk 3:22 PM - [Link] - Comments ()