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Blogging With Dr P... Blogging When I Can - Honest!
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Welcome to Blogging With Dr P... blogging when I can - honest

Your Blogging With Dr P... search result is below this annoucement.
In April 2008 Blogging With Dr P... moved to Blog Bypass.

If you're using the Blog Studio Search Facility to find a link to a previous blog, then I've been very generous, and NOT included an automatic re-direct which would take you there.

So, what this means is you have to use this link: Blog Bypass to find more Blogging With Dr P....

Thank you to Blog Studio for all the help over years! :)

(Feb 2010 Update): Haloscan is no more. Therefore the comments on this blog are no more. Sad, but true. I'm not paying $12 a year for the occasional comment with Echo. Apologies to all those who have commented. I have saved them and may well stick them somewhere else at some point.

Sunday, August 31, 2003 A Sunday Joke....:)

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God,
he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy, Vey! You fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise one of those hairy beasts."

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Saturday, August 30, 2003 One Of Those....

Late at night entries. When the world is a more quieter place. Save that of the occasional drunk in the distance arguing with his girlfriend/boyfriend/ or his/herself. Apart from that - it's quieter. Oh - there is the Essex boy-racer, who for some reason shared only with his social worker and court approved psychologist, still insists on tearing around the streets in some suped-up little motor that he nicked only the other evening whilst visiting his grandmother in Southend. So, apart from all that - it's relatively quiet.

And why should it be any easier for my brain to formulate great tombs of text at this late hour, than at any other time of the day? I mean, 'it' should be completely frazzled by now - right? It's true. Just before lunch I said "Let's go to Herne Bay." And we did. Herne Bay is about an hours drive from here. It's one of them North Kent coastal resorts. It would have been a gorgeous place to go to in the boiling hot weather of late. But today - it was pissing down. The 'beach' was, well, looking like this:

- which I'm sure you'll agree looks pretty rough. People weren't so much combing the beach, as dragging bodies from the surf - it was a bit scary for sunbathing!

But, I digress. Where does all this activity leave me in terms of explaining the late night writing activity? I suppose one school of thought would say - "Yes, they have all 'f**ked off and died'" - the usual thought to people who give me hassle during the day - and now I can relax a little. It is comforting to know that I know there's some of you reading this saying to yourselves - "I know exactly what he means!" :)

Perhaps there is a chemical imbalance in my body? Or perhaps there should be more - hic! :) Maybe it's because I was born early in the morning - perhaps 'morning babies' work better in the morning? (If there is some correlation between 'birth time' and a person's characterisitics/habits, will someone let me know, please?).

Most importantly I believe it is the ability of a writer to perform his best when he feels the need to write, and the time to do so. Keeping with the plot is vitally important. Sadly, I think I'm visiting my old friend Mr Ramble at this point, and I do believe I am now talking complete bollocks! :)

So, on that inspiring note I'll say goodnight.

Oh - one more thing - I would just like to say goodnight to all the Catherine Herridge fans in the world, and of course to the lovely lady herself:

"Catherine, thank you for the amazing number of visits to my site ever since I did this original piece about you back on March 28th this year...

Catherine Herridge is the homeland defense correspondent for FOX News Channel. She has covered a numbers of stories for the network, including the October 2002 Washington, D.C., sniper attacks and the 2002 elections. She also secured one of the first network interviews with Director of Homeland Security Tom Ridge.

But of all her journalistic skills whilst live reporting, and in the studio, what do I remember about her most? It's this. She has a wide & extensive wardrobe of polo neck sweaters. Throughout the Washington sniper attack story she would appear at various locations with a different coloured one on. Sadly, I then began to watch Fox News more just to see what colour the next one would be - the power of TV, eh?

And now the war in Iraq is under way. I see Catherine is reporting from the studio. It's springtime. And she is sporting a wide and extensive range of............sleeveless poloneck tops. God Bless America :)

Anyway Catherine, or can I call you 'Cathy'? - as I seem to know you, (or your selection of tops, and the I.P. addresses of the people who have traced you to me :)) - so well? Anyway, Cathy - I'd just like to wish you a special good night from little old England! "

p.s. for all you Catherine Herridge fans I may well be doing an update.....or a shrine (!), or something :)

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Friday, August 29, 2003 Blaster Virus Author Arrested

An unidentified 18-year-old was expected to appear before a federal magistrate in St. Paul, Minnesota around noon today suspected of authoring a the "Blaster Worm"virus-like infection unleashed weeks ago on the Internet, U.S. officials said.

Further details were expected to be disclosed Friday by the FBI and U.S. attorney's office in Seattle, which has been leading the investigation. The Blaster virus variants took advantage of a flaw in Microsoft Corp.'s flagship Windows software.

A witness reportedly saw the teen testing the infection and called authorities, the official said.

What a pillock! Fancy being caught 'testing the infection'! Not related to Lex Luther, then! Thankfully, it never infected my PC, so it wasn't such a big deal. My company wasn't affected that much either, but we did do a whole shake down of the intranet & internet security & connections.

I did receive this the other day which made me sit up, and.....well...laugh!

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Catholic Speeding

Is this you.......? :)

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Thursday, August 28, 2003 Mars

It came it's closest to Earth in 60,000 years.....yesterday. It was about 35 million miles away, or something. To my Nikon 2500 digital camera - it looked like this.
Admittedly, it doesn't look all that scary - not exactly, alien HQ. It's still around for the next few weeks for an orange viewing in the Southern sky. But it's chucking it down with rain right now - so this is the best it could get!

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Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Bloody Cheap Flights Again

Yes - it is remarkable, but you can go from Stansted Airport, Essex, to Brussels on a day-trip for about ?24 return. Yup - that's a return price of ?3.98 taxes. Lots of other offers too!

It's all kicking off at

Have a nice flight :)

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American Pie 4: Update

Okay - it's in the post. Actually, to be more precise - it's in the Fedex envelope, and it will be on her desk by 10.30am tomorrow morning. Sure, it cost about ?25 to send, but what a ?25 investment if it all comes off, eh? Basically, the agent will receive a two-page proposal containing:

1. Synopsis - a few lines outlining what the movie is all about.

2. Main Character Situations - letting us know where the characters are at in their lives.

3. Why Do They Do (What They Do)? - giving reasons for the actions of the characters in the movie.

4. What Does This Movie Need To Contain? - covering the main aspects of character and plot motivation from the first three movies, and how they relate, and can be achieved, (if necessary), in this movie.

5. Movie 'Moments' - a list of about half dozen 'scenes from the movie' - already written in my head! Movie 'Moments' are those scenes in the movie which written in so that you will remember the whole movie. There is usually about half a dozen of them. (Test this on some of your favourite movies - will not remember more than half dozen scenes - and those will have been written exactly for that reason).

6. Questions To Be Asked & Answered - this was really there to point out that I knew that this wasn't the finished article, but I knew what to do to achieve this. And with an appropriate covering letter, off we trotted to the Fedex office in Enfield. And now we wait......:). I did send her an email when I got back to say that I'd Fedexed the letter to her. (Keeping up the personal contact is vitally important in this game !).

So, fingers crossed, eh?!

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Tuesday, August 26, 2003 Dimensional Warp Generator Junk Email

Forgot your Nigerian banking scams, penis extensions (!), religious chain emails etc etc - this arrived in Mailwasher the other day. I was just about to delete it when I read he was a time traveller and I thought, "Yes - Brian ('Brian The Time Traveller' - ha!) - you deserve a mention":


I'm a time traveller stuck here in 2003.

Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me.

Since nobody in this timeline seems to be able to deliver what I need (safely here to me), I will have to build a simple time travel circuit to get where I need myself. While it might be hard to find parts in this time to build anything decent, I need easy to follow schematics from the future to build one which is safe and accurate that will not disrupt the time space continuum with both forward and backward capability accounting for temporal location settings (X, Y, Z,) which can be built out of (readily available) parts here in 2003. Please email me any plans you have. I will pay good money for anything you send me I can use. Or if you have a dimensional warp generator available, and are 100ertain you have a (safe secure) means of delivering it to me please also reply with a secure way to contact you. Send a separate email to me at:

Do not reply back directly to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

Thank You

Brian Appel"

I then went to the garage to check to see if I still had my old dimensional warp generator from my time travelling days. But - wouldn't you believe it - I sold it for ?2 at Sundays Boot Sale. Now if only he could go back in time to a field in Essex on Sunday - oh, but he can't can he? :)

Sorry Brian - you gotta get up early in Essex to catch the dimensional warp generator bargains! :)

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Monday, August 25, 2003 American Pie 4 : The Movies Continue....

Before the little movie review I did the other day, me and Sue had been brain-storming American Pie 4 whilst driving back from the cinema. It's not a long drive, about 10 minutes with a full sail and the wind behind us :)

But it's amazing how much two mad minds can pull together! By the time we got back to the flat I was saying "I gotta write this down! I gotta write this down!" And so I did. And what was formulating before my very eyes was a very thin, but very agreeable outline for the next American Pie movie.

Now I've read a lot of reviews & interviews with the stars and with Adam Herz, (the writer), all which seem to indicate that there never was meant to be a trilogy of movies in the first place - they just happened along. There have been some noises from Mr Herz that he has " out of ideas..." for a fourth movie. Well Adam me old mate - this is where I step in :).

I spent hours trying to find out further info about this guy. Eventually I tracked him down via a small reference in an article in it mentioned the agency that represented Mr Herz. So, using my trusty internet sleuth tools, and a six year old copy of the Hollywood Agents and Managers Directory, I find out his agents address and telephone number. Nope, there is no email address or website. Exclusive, (or behind the times?), or wot?

I phoned at 5pm local time here, (England), which I guessed would be around 9am local time in California where his agent's office is. However, the 'client detail' section is not open for another hour, and could I call back then? Well, looks like I'll have to little lady! In the meantime, let me waffle on a bit further about my plans.....

I've writtten one full screenplay before, and started another, so technically, it's not as though I don't know what I'm doing. In reality, this bloke, (or girlie!), may well get hundreds of calls & letters a day saying "Hey - I got that next American Pie script - let's call it 'Space Pie' and the crew find themselves on Mars.....!' - so I obviously expect the worst when I call. The least that could happen is I'll get the name of his agent, even if the agent won't talk to me. Names are very important in that kind of business, as I found out from my first dalliance with the movie world. One name can lead to another, and another - I remember name dropping on the phone with one production company using the name of somebody else who had sent me a rejection letter - ha !

Anyway, there's twenty mins before I phone back....and it will seem just like a few dots and a dropped line to you :)....

Okay, (20 mins later!), I got through to his agent's office, (it is a girlie! HA!), and spoke to one of her PA's. I got her email address, (vitally important!), and an 'okay' to send the story outline. She did say however that Adam Herz had not intended to make a fourth movie. So I said -

"Ah, well, that's what he said - but he hasn't read this storyline yet!"

- so, she agreed to accept it. If the guy has only ran out of ideas, this'll put him back on track. Must go now - got some writing to do....:)

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Sunday, August 24, 2003 After The Boot Sale...

Who did that song "After The Gold Rush"? Anyway, it wasn't exactly like that earlier on today. I would be exaggerating if I was to say that we could retire on the proceeds of todays boot sale. Far from it. In fact, there would not be enough boot sales left in the world, (even If we attended them all), to acheive a healthy retirement fund. How bad was it? It went something like this....

The advert said: "Open at 6am for sellers. Cars ?7". Okay, we got there around 7am. Hells bloody bells the place was packed! AT 7AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING!! I know Essex is the land of boot sales, but there are limits, surely? Surely not - obviously. We were direted down to a part of the field without grass. It was like homesteading :). We pitched our car and unloaded the kit. (Pics not available due to poor 'quality control' - I had it on the wrong setting! ). With the use of brightly coloured collapsible plastic crates, and years of retail merchandising experience, (I knew it would come in handy sometime), I built the perfect boot sale stall. And then we waited........and waited some more...

It is an interesting selling experience 'working' a boot sale stall. Opposite us was a huge family with a big white van and a car. They had mountains of stuff, several trestle tables, and little chairs for everyone to sit in. I think I sold more thean they did all day :). I did notice that they started to get a bit active and tidy up their stall everytime I re-merchandised ours. Why? Because when I re-shaped the stall after selling something, I then tried to concentrate on selling something else in order to clear out some of the real 'rubbish' and leave the stall looking better. Oh yes - once a retailer, always a retailer :)

How much did we make? Well, lets consider the financial outlay here:
1. Entry fee = ?7
2. Packed lunch = ?5
3. Gas money = ?1
Total Expenses = ?13
After a six hour gruelling stint in the heat and dust of Essex we managed to scrape in ?23.70 in total. So, deducting the expenses, that makes a clear profit of: ?11.70. Hurrah ! At 3.25p a minute - I don't think I'll be giving up my day job.

The reminder of the junk was returned to the garage.....for the next round...:)

p.s. ?11.70 will get us a take-away Chinese meal, so there is a happy ending to the days proceedings :)

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Hutton Inquiry: Documents Released on the Internet

Below is an extract from document number mod_1_0030to0033.pdf available from the Hutton Inquiry Website....

Amazing right? No thirty year rule. No secrecy. No hiding behind confidentiality clauses. So, what are the answers to some of those most asked questions surrounding Dr Kelly's death? Read on.....




Mr Richard Hatfield, Personnel Director
Dr Bryan Wells, DCPAC
Dr David Kelly, CPAC Special Adviser

Hatfield asked direct if Kelly had ever said that the "45 minute" assessment was put into the Dossier at a late stage (I.e. the week before publication, as Gilligan had alleged). Kelly replied that he had not been aware of the assessment (that some of Iraq's WMD could be ready within 45 minutes of an order) until he read it in the published version of the Dossier. He had not been involved in the final preparations of the Dossier (he had not been in London during August, but had been in September) The only late issue he had been Involved in was responding to a request on whether from his perspective there was anything else to add to the Dossier. He had suggested adding passages on smallpox. But this had not been taken up.

Hatfield double-checked - Kelly was saying that he was not aware of the 45 minute assessment until it was published and had no knowledge of the process by which it had been brought into the Dossier. Kelly confirmed.

Hatfield asked again if Kelly was the source of the "allegations" about the sexing-up of the Dossier. Kelly replied that that he was not.

Hatfield asked if Kelly had discussed he had discussed with Gilligan the issue of Uranium being sought from Niger. Kelly said he thought it had, but he was not involved in the issue and would not have offered his own view (his own position was that he had nothing other than the IAEA view) - Hatfield asked again in relation to Q.0454 answer: Kelly replied that he did not (and would not have) offered the view that this assessment was based on "unreliable information".

8. 0455 Hatfield asked again if Kelly had been the source of the
allegations about the "45 minute claim" Kelly reiterated that he was not.

I left some of the question number reference numbers in place. It is noticeable from the pdf files, (you'll need Acrobat to read these), that some of the questions are missing, or at least the numbers do not run concurrently.

Is there still some 'cover-up', or is this an admin error?

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Saturday, August 23, 2003 American Wedding: A Movie Review

The main characters all there, (with the absence of Oz & Heather, and the lovely Nadia), in a plot revolving around the wedding of Jim & Michelle - "...and another time in band camp...."
Because we know and love the characters already, there is no need for all that standard 'character building' stuff in movies - and the comedy begins in the very first scene as Jim proposes to Michelle. (I promise I won't reveal too much of the movie here). If you enjoyed the first two movies - you'll love this one.
It's three years on after graduation, and the group have gone their various ways in life so far, but they all get back together to help and support Jim in getting the wedding of Michelle's dreams to come true. It's written by Adam Herz, who wrote AP 1 & 2.

It is very 'watchable'. It has the right amount of comedy, plot twists, and pace to keep you wathcing the screen and being totally engrossed in their lives, and the story of the wedding.

Do I have a favourite scene? Ha, well, without giving any of it away, all I can say is that after watching the scene in the garden party, you may think twice before you eat your next truffle :)

American Wedding is on general release in the USA & UK - and will soon be trawling the rest of the world. Enjoy :)

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New Years Resolutions...

So, how are they going? Remember Jan 1st? Mine went like this...

"Yup, yup, yup...are you up yet, or are you just imagining that you're reading this? I know it's a difficult time of day (!) not knowing whether to move to pull the duvet over and risk the possibility of the whole room spinning, or just stay cold. And there is the obvious question of "Why does my head pound as if it's it's been constantly marched over by the massed bands of the Scots Guards...and when will it stop?" Yes folks! It's New Years Day - January 1st "ouch" as the case may be. It's really not a very good omen is it? Starting the year in a semi-comatose state. I mean, how many of those sacred 'I will stick to these this time...' resolutions have you broken already?

Tomorrow I will start back down the gym. This is not a New Years resolution - but I'm going to be tarred with the same brush. And what am I supposed to do to save my own embarrassment? Take each instructor to one side and say "Look, I'm not like other people here today....?" Yeah - that'll get me separate changing facilities and a police escort home! The place is going to be full of heaving, sweaty stretching lycra (!) and that's just in the car park. It'll be interesting to see if I can still remember how to operate the machines. The worst part is trying to figure out how to use the 'very simple' weighing machine in the corner, and then decipher what weight I am in kilograms. Lets be honest, for those of use of a certain age in the UK, I can safely say "What the hell is a kilogram?"
It was the last year of junior school, (10yrs old), when we 'went metric' here in the UK. It all seemed so easy doing sums in 10s & 100s = centimetres & metres. On paper - no problem. But why did I continue to judge distance by the feet/yard/mile? And why, for so many years afterwards, (and even now in some places, if you can avoid the Eurocops), can you still buy spuds by the pound and carpet by the yard? It did, and still does, cause much consternation. God help us if we ever get the Euro.

But do put your best foot forward today - once you've achieved the vertical status with your body? It is, in the words of Aldous Huxley, a 'Brave New World' out there. Drink coffee. Wrap up, keep warm. Go clear the glasses from last night - make yourself useful. Smile sweetly - and collapse. You've got 364 days to go - don't kill yourself."

Did that bring back any reminders/memories ? :)

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Friday, August 22, 2003 The End of 192

Bugger. It just won't be the same. It'll be like when "Match of the Day" first went off air, we went decimal, Darren changed in "Bewitched", Kennedy was shot - land mark events in history that we stick with us for ever.

And now we, here in the UK, lose the FREE national telephone directory enquiries number 192. New numbers for directory enquiries will replace 192 on Sunday 24 August. The numbers, (NOT FREE!) which all begin with 118, will come into force at one minute past midnight.

People who call 192 after the switchover will hear a recorded message giving a freephone number for information on the new 118 services. Apparently, the message on 192 will continue for ten months to allow plenty of time for us poor lost souls to get used to dialling the new numbers.

But - if you have a One-Tel account like we do, you can dial 118111 for FREE until the end of the year - so it's not so bad :)

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Bank Holiday Boot Sale

Are we mad? (Don't answer this question!) - going to a Boot Sale in Essex on a Bank Holiday weekend? And not only going to one, but going to participate in one as well! Yes - we are selling all that old s**t in the garage.

I know at one time all that old s**t in the garage was our precious belongings. And me - "Mr Hoarder" - is struggling against the forces of nature and all that is right & meaningful, to stop myself from NOT DOING THIS EVIL THING. I mean, 'sell' (?) our......'stuff'? How Hammer House of Horror?!

Books. Reference books. Books that I've used only a few times, and then went out-of-date. And clothes. Clothes, clothes that "...perhaps, one day, I'll fit back in again...". Have you ever heard yourself saying - "I'm not throwing that away - there's nothing wrong with it?!" Yes? Well, the difference between you and I is that a 'hoarder' will also say "....don't worry I'll find a use for it..", or "'ll come in handy for something.." :)

Well, the day of reckoning is upon us, (Sunday actually in some field in Essex), and tomorrow, (Saturday), will be a day in the garage sorting out all that old s**t. I must phone Dave, (oh he of the great French adventures), as he's done several of things before.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated :)

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Press Release

Source: Fox Sports World

Live Manchester United Telecasts on Fox Sports World Thursday August 21, 1:42 pm ET

LOS ANGELES--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Aug. 21, 2003--In their first meeting of the 2003-2004 Barclaycard Premiership, the Red Devils will face Newcastle United on Saturday, August 23, and Fox Sports World will televise the match live starting at 7:00 a.m. EST. Premiership champions Manchester United look to duplicate last season's 6-2 destruction of the magpies at St. James Park.

Fox Sports World's live coverage of the Barclaycard English Premier League continues on Wednesday, August 27 with a match between Manchester United and the Wolverhampton Wanderers at 2:00 p.m. EST. The Wolves are one of three teams recently promoted to the Premier League from England's First Division.

Cable and satellite providers throughout the U.S. will be offering additional weekend matches of the FA Barclaycard Premiership through single-match and season-long pay-per-view packages. Soccer fans should contact their local cable and satellite providers for availability and to order the pay-per-view telecasts.

Who: Manchester United vs. Newcastle United

What: The Barclaycard English Premier League

Where: Fox Sports World; select matches in Spanish on Fox Sports
en Espanol.

When: Saturday, August 23, 7:00 a.m. EST

How: Fox Sports World and Fox Sports en Espanol are available
through affiliated cable systems, and through DirecTV and
Dish Network satellite providers. For more information,
visit Fox Sports World online at

Other Upcoming Barclaycard Premiership Matches:

* Saturday, August 23 -- Chelsea vs. Leicester -- 12pm ET (FSW only)
* Sunday, August 24 -- Aston Villa vs. Liverpool -- 2pm ET (FSW only)
* Monday, August 25 -- Blackburn vs. Manchester City -- 3pm ET - LIVE


Fox Sports World
Veronica Alvarez, 310-286-6329

British soccer on US TV - about bloody time :)

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Another Blonde Joke

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police
Cruiser pulled her over and the officer walked up to the car. The female Police officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman "What does a driver's license look like?"

Irritated, the blonde cop said "It's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small rectangular mirror down at the bottom.

She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
"You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all this hassle."

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Thursday, August 21, 2003 Do Trees have Friends?

I was sitting at the dinner table this evening,( - I just better dispell this idea of a separate dining room with heavy Tudor oak table & chairs, hanging tapestries and all the trappings of a standard "Englishmen's Castle" - this was the swivel top folding-leaf table in the kitchen - ), staring out of the window, the same window where I saw this little beauty, remember? :) - and I was watching the tall oak tree in some neighbour's back garden.

"Do trees have friends?" I thought. A news item on TV had just shown some poor guy's gardening centre to be virtually destroyed by the intense heat recently. His plants were just shrivelled. Looking at the tree, it seemed quite healthy. I remarked to Sue about how far down the roots must be in order to pull up that much water to keep the whole plant looking so good. When I mentioned about the 'friends' thing she said "Oh - so when we feel vibrations in the ground - it's not an earthquake - just trees dancing?" Well, I do believe she's getting the hang of this abstract way of thinking..:) - but that's one of the many reasons we got

Anyway, as you can see I made it back from Milton Keynes. It's not a fun place to drive around. I shan't go on about it here - try an internet search about Milton Keynes roads. But, as there has been a water problem in many areas of our green and pleasant land, I decided to do my bit for conversation - and have a bath in my MK hotel.......without water.......

Didn't I do well.....:) ? !

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The hotel Bible says...(at the page I opened it at) - "Your enemies will be clothed in shame, and the tents of the wicked will be no more." (Job 8:22)... Nice one Job : )

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Wednesday, August 20, 2003 Milton Keynes: It Has At Least One Hotel.....

.....and I'm going there this evening. It's another overnighter for an early start tomorrow, (7am). MK is not what you would call 'an exciting' place. People live and work there. I'm sure there's some great pubs and clubs (!) there. But it's a junction off the M1 motorway, (as most places in New Jersey are an 'exit' - arf arf !), with concrete cows - I rest my case :)

See y'all later on - have a nice day :)

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Tuesday, August 19, 2003 Taking The Piss......

It seemed a somewhat strange 'blog assocication' as I had just posted a picture of the hotel bathroom I was in last week, to follow it up with this news story.......but I had to do it...!

Justin Hastings, a former guard at Greene County Jail, Springfield, Missouri was ordered Monday to scrub toilets while serving 15 days behind bars for urinating from a roof onto inmates playing basketball. He also was given two years of probation and 150 hours of community service. He was convicted in June of four counts of assault.

Four inmates said they were 'splashed' as they played basketball in July 2001 at the Greene County Jail. Hastings admitted during the trial that he knew prisoners were in the room when he and another jailer urinated through a roof grate. A DNA expert testified that urine samples taken from the jail roof could be linked to Hastings. But defense attorneys contended there was no proof that Hastings' urine - and not the other jailer's - hit the inmates.

Greene County also paid a total of $100,000 to the four inmates.

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Bathroom Photography II

Bored. Extremely bored. I found myself taking pictures of the interior of the hotel bathroom whilst having a soak in the tub. Enjoy:)

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Homeland Security

I went to Canary Wharf today to visit a colleague. Everytime I go there, or pass by it, (particularly at night on a train), I can't help thinking about Die Hard and the Nakatomi Building. It all seemed rather a complicated set-up for the terrorists to occupy the tower block. Then our torn T-shirted hero turned up, and things just went down hill from there.

But just how easy is it to get past security in places like this? Canary Wharf houses the tallest building in the Uk at Number One Canada Square. The whole area is a tightly built complex of business, residential & retail units - all casually mixed into several huge tower blocks and underground developments. The security set-up around it is enormous . I mean they are wall-to-wall and ten feet tall all over the place. But how easy would it be to launch a terrorist attack against the site? Okay, that link took you back to an attack back in 1996, and one would like to think that things have tightened up since then, particularly in the light of 9/11. This was taken from the Daily Mirror in 1999, it is a 'diary' of security:

09.45: My arrival at The Mirror's Canary Wharf HQ is caught on film by the Docklands Light Railway security
camera. Suddenly, I feel guilty about those late mornings.

10.00: As I walk through the reception of Canary Wharf Tower I know I'm recorded on the in-house cameras, but security is so tight that the uniformed guards won't discuss the vigilance system.

But they tell me that I'm being filmed wherever I go. At my desk, I discover my colleagues and I are monitored
by a lens hidden in a black plastic dome on the ceiling. I ring security to confirm my suspicions.

"We can see you very clearly. Smile for the camera," they say.

And so one would assume that security has improved. Well, have I got news for you. If I was part of terrorist group wanting to plant a bomb somewhere in London - I'd be driving down to Canary Wharf tomorrow. This is what happened on my arrival at the roundabout at the foot of the main complex. There is a security checkpoint there. I wound my window down as the guard approached...
"I'm going to XXXX's , mate" I said in a chirpy little voice. He just looked at me blankly, nodded, and let me through. Okay, I was white, wearing a shirt and tie, had a security tag on a lead around my neck for the firm that I work for, and I knew the name of a firm in the complex - does that constitute a passport to entry? What kind of a security check was that? He didn't even ask for any i.d. I was a bit surprised by that.

Once I got past him, there are some roadworks going on around the base of the main buildings, which means that there is a diversion through the centre of the complex to reach the public car-park. Dotted around everywhere were security guards of different companies. Some were construction site security, others were private security for particular buildings. I went down the ramp to the underground car-park. On approaching the gate to take my ticket out of the machine, a guard came out towards the car. With the ticket in my mouth, I just nodded to the guard like I knew what I was doing - he just waved me through. Oh boy - I wouldn't feel safe with that kind of security around!.

I parked the car and made my way up to the ground floor level. I couldn't remember where my colleagues 'office' is, so I asked a security guard who happened to be walking by. Big Mistake. In East London, where there is a high percentage of ethnic communities, and where being a security guard pays the minimum wage in most cases, a lot of the security guards are from these communities. And, through no fault of their own, (mainly because English is not their first language), they come across as 'being a bit stupid' when you ask them a question, and you equally don't understand their reply. I've worked in retail for many years, and worked with many security firms in my time, so I know the standard that one is to expect in London. And, sad to say, the security officers that I met whilst in the Canary Wharf complex were of no greater standard than a guard supplied to a retail store, (a guard who had probably just come off from a 12 hour shift guarding a warehouse in central London). They are exhausted, seem a bit slow to understand what is going on, (explained above), and are generally earning money to keep themselves in the UK to support their large families, or waiting for their visa to be finalised, or supporting their education whilst they are here. But one thing they are most definitely not is trained security specialists.

Last week, on one day alone, there had been three fire evacuations and one bomb threat. Knowing what I know about the 'security' at Canary Wharf, I'm really glad I work somewhere else. And remember - you read it here first when you hear about a bomb going off in Canada Square - and nobody could understand how 'they' got it in there.

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Monday, August 18, 2003 Return Of The Dirt Brown Cowboy

Okay - after several days of non-blogging here at the illustrious Blog Studio, we are back! :) Thanks to Wayne for returning me, and all the other Blog Studio addicts, back to our rightful place on the internet. :)

To celebrate, here's a picture of me in the bath from my recent hotel trip to Coventry.....!....

Of course it's art!? :)

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Thursday, August 14, 2003 Day Four - Eviction Day - Davina is coming to get me out of Last 'W.A.P.' phone entry. Hope you've enjoyed the trip : ). See y'all real soon.

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Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Big Brother has called me to the diary room - " No blogging in a non-smoking room!" I've been given my first warning : )

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Day Three in the 'Big Brother House' (hotel in Coventry) - Paul is still in bed.... (Another great 'W.A.P.' phone blog entry... : )

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Tuesday, August 12, 2003 End of day two - moved from 'smoking' to 'non-smoking' room. No longer smell like Satan's bottom! Lol : )

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Day 2 - rice krispies . Lots of milk to leave you making lots of 'clinking' & slurping noises?... Or a nice mushy mess with little milk ...?

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Day 2 - rice krispies . Lots of milk to leave you making lots of 'clinking' & slurping noises?... Or a nice mushy mess with little milk ...?

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Hello :)...Again. Just updating from the hotel via my "wap" phone : ). So, what did i have for dinner this evening? : )

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Hello :)

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Monday, August 11, 2003 Being Sent To Coventry

Yes, "I'm being sent to Coventry" this week. For all you none islanders reading this, that expression means that I'm going to be ignored. Ha - but I really am going to Coventry!

But where did that expression come from? I did a bit of digging around and found this as the best explanation:
"St Johns Church, commonly known as Bablake Church was completed in 1350. It became a prison for hundreds of the troops of The Duke of Hamilton during the Civil War -1647. The People of Coventry were strongly Puritan and were loyal to the parliamentary cause. Such was their loyalty indeed that they shunned all forms of fraternisation with the prisoners who were thus completely ignored. And so it was the phrase "sent to Coventry" was born."

I'll be staying in a Travel Inn up there....pretty much the same case actually :)

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Sunday, August 10, 2003 At Least He's Got The Weather For It...

Wearing little more than sun screen, socks and boots, Steve Gough is walking the length of Britain to celebrate the joys of nudity. His 847-mile trek has been hampered by eight arrests, an examination at a psychiatric hospital and several nights in jail. This week, he's starting over again after Scottish police shipped him back to his starting point in Cornwall for a court appearance.

The man's stark raving bonkers! Nobody in their right mind is going to let your naked sweaty skin touch their fabric on their car seats, or make embarassing squeaky/squelching noises on their highly polished leather upholstery. I think he'll be doing a lot of walking and not a lot of hitch-hiking!

Naked hitch-hiking as an Olympic Event from the last games venue to the next one? Now I definitely would watch the women's event...:)

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"It Never Rains........

......In Southern California". No, I can't remember who did that song, but answers on a postcard to the usual address please. Actually, what I meant to say was - it never rains when it pours, or something. Damn the English language! Okay - i'll just come straight out and say it......if it's not one thing it's another......bad things always come in threes, (this is a bad example of what I'm trying to say. Please re-word this old expression replacing 'three' with 'two'). Okay - just when I thought that everything was getting itself on an even keel health-wise - SHAZAM!! - as was oft heard in the Arabian Nights.
As you may be aware I headed down to Brighton on Wednesday last week. It was an unexpected trip. Someone had phoned in sick, so I re-arranged my schedule and scooted myself and a colleague down to the south coast for the day. This was this day. Ouch. It was so hot that the store had sold out of everything that good circulate or blow air around.

Then I went up to Cambridge on Thursday. A popular seat of learning and a twat to drive into first thing on a morning. This explains why the town is filled with bloody students on bicycles. (Please note here for my non-English readers that students as far as the Tax Paying, Hard Working, member of the public are concerned are known as bloody students. This description can often be accompagnied by free-loading pimply faced anarchists!. The older generation are also heard muttering in their potting sheds - "I didn't fight through a World War so that these miserable little oiks can lay around all day smoking pot and listening to Oasis!". Okay.....? Good. Let us continue.....)

Anyway, on Friday it turns out my arms and legs are aching like buggery. One guesses this has to do with all the excessive driving over the last two days. Oh no. Friday night/Saturday morning I wake up feeling the the unmake-uped version of the Incredible Hulk. I mean my neck,throat and face is swollen. My head is throbbing like it's likely to explode, and I feel like...well...very bad :). So I slept most of the day, on & off in chills and fevers, occasionally necking the odd Lemsip and other sundry drugs. But this wasn't going to work. I knew what was going on. Remember this? Well it seemed to me that I was heading down that slippery slope again.

So what's a guy to do? I could struggle through until Monday, taking the day off, going to the doctors, getting those well deserved anti-biotics. Hmmmmm. Not a good idea - I'd be in a right old state by then. I could go down to the casuality dept of the local hospital...................hmmmmmmm........on a Saturday evening? I think not! I didn't want to spend 4 - 5 hours in the company of inebriated Nationwide League football fans who have hammered the crap out of each other, before, during and after their first games of the football, (soccer!), season today, and were spending their Saturday evening holding bits of their bodies in, or suporting fractured arms & legs, in, of course, the blistering heat of this bizarre summer weekend.
No - I phoned the emergency doctor. Or at least I thought I was going to. Long story here...........(aren'y they all!)......I moved to where I am now a few years ago. I kept my doctor from where I had moved from becuase he was a good bloke. So, I phoned a local doctor here, got the emergency number, phoned them, and they said they couldn't help me because I was registered outside their area. "But," I said "I'm ill here." It didn't seem to make a difference to them. In the end I phoned my own doctors, got automatically put through to an emergency service, got a call back from a doctor about 1.5 hours later. I told him what was wrong. He 'diagnosed' me over the phone - (it's amazing this National Health Service Training nowadays!) - and then he phoned the local Tescos pharmacy to put aside a prescription for me for my anti-biotics. Crappy feeling though I was, I drove there and collected them. I'm now in mid tablet taking mode etc.

The moral to this story? Don't get ill over the weekend - you'll only stress yourself out! :)

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Saturday, August 09, 2003 Cool Things About Being A Man

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your last name stays put.
3. The garage is all yours.
4. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
5. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
6. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
7. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
8. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
9. Same work .. more pay.
10. Wrinkles-add character.
11. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
12. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
13. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
14. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
16. One mood, ALL the damn time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
18. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
19. You can open all your own jars.
20. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
21. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
22. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
23. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
24. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
25. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me".
26. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
27. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
28. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
29. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
30. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
31. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
34. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
35. The world is your urinal.

Thanks Jeff :)

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Friday, August 08, 2003 Demonic Squirrel
I'm telling you - the thing is possessed! I snapped him out of the kitchen window. Okay, the professional photographer might say that the flash reflected in his eyes. But look at the stance of the 'devil beast'.....don't you think he's putting the 'hex' on me ? I may not be the best naturalist photographer in the world. But I know a squirrel being controlled from 'evil forces within' when I see one!

And it's strange.....I've not been feeling myself today......but it's a filthy habit anyway! :)

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Thursday, August 07, 2003
If You Look Very Carefully In My Rear View Mirror....

I think you can see one of these fast approaching me as I sat calmly on a motorway slip road. It was some ways in the distance behind me. I do believe it is part of an invasion force. And XXXX thought he was the only plonker to buy one :)

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Hottest Day On Record

Yes - it was bloody hot yesterday. The little thermometer in the car read 36.5 degress at one point - then it coughed,spluttered, and melted. WE ARE IN ENGLAND!!!! The last time we had temperatures like this Raquel Welch was running around in a bear skin, and the newspaper was constantly full of "Dinosaur Bites Man" stories. (Boy, was the editor pleased the day when he could finally print that "Exclusive!- Dinosaurs Extinct!" story).

I had to make an unexpected trip to Brighton yesterday. Not to the sea-side unfortunately, but to 'work'. There's nothing like having the air-con on full, pushing your way through a couple of hours of motorway traffic, and then stepping out into blistering heat....and dying! Of course, I had to do it again on the way back :)

There was a bit more of an urgency on the way back. I had a hosptial appointment to see the 'nose surgeon' chappie. He does like shining a light and poking around up there. Thnk God he's not a proctologist as well ! (Or if he is, I hope he washes his hands before he sees me!). Anyway, more sea-water spraying up the old hooter and go back and see him in four weeks - KER-CHING! ?80 please! - what a life!

Anyway, it's off up to Cambridge today - hurrah! Another excursion up a hot and sunny motorway..........better take my sea-water with me :)

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Tuesday, August 05, 2003 So How Smart Is This?.... :)

I promised I wouldn't mention this person's name, who purchased one of these cars recently. I mean, it really is for his own good that he remains as anonymous as possible under the circumstances!

And in my hitch-hiking days I've been aboard some strange and wonderous vehicles. Mercs, BMWs, various articulated lorrys, countless cars - and a broken down bread delivery van in Spain. I have in a modest way.....travelled.

Okay, I'm a man of the world (!), I've 'been around' - and I've seen some sights. Yes - I've seen dolphins playfully leaping around the bow of a sleek ocean going yacht I was crewing on, the misty clouds rush up a Peruvian mountain valley and shroud me with rain whilst I periously trekked along a narrrow mountain path, and I've even seen the sun set over the Taj Mahal - an Indian restuarant in east London :).

Now in my working life I have been supplied with a company car. An ordinary Vauxhall Astra - a snow covered picture you can find here. And it's totally acceptable. It gets me to work and back - and lots of places elsewhere as well :).

And I'm sure that XXXX, who bought this car in the pictures has also had a wide and varied life so far. So, it could be said that the purchasing of this vehicle could just be another phase in his own personal development.....;)
For those of you who have just got off the floor laughing......let me explain. This vehicle is called a Smart Car. Let me give you a 'for instance':

"Did you know that 10f the time most cars carry no more than a daily newspaper on their backseats? Or that there are on average only 1.2 people making the journey into work every day? If you recognise yourself in these facts, then we think you?ll find two seats more than ample. The length of the smart means you'll be able to tidy it away into corners that bigger cars won't even notice. And with a turning circle of only 8.7 metres, you'll practically turn on a sixpence."
Tempted? Well, you might be if I also told you that it really is a DaimlerChrysler make. (No, that's something that 'he' didn't tell me - ha. But it still won't make me buy one :) ). As long as he's happy - that's the main thing, right? :)

I could tell you all sorts of technical details I was blinded with today. I mean this guy was "Mr Justification" personifed! Ha - but XXXX - you know you don't have to justify your 'baby' to me or anyone else :) I firmly believe that you were of sound mind when you purchased this vehicle, and I'm sure you'll both be very happy together......tootling along at a top speed of 80mph......'chipped' motors......!? HA :)

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Would You Be A Great Explorer?

I was watching a programme the other night on the Discovery Channel about the raising of the Carpathia. This ship was the first to attend the distress flares and radio calls of the Titanic, as it sank to it's watery grave in April 1912. The Carpathia sank at 12.40am on 17th July 1918 after being hit by three torpedoes.

The TV programme was about the hunt for the wreck, and being able to indentify it for definite. They called themselves 'sea-hunters'. At the end of the programme one of them did a piece-to-camera urging viewers to get off their couches and become sea-hunters, mountain-hunters, air-hunters and basically get out there and explore.

So after the programme had finished, and I was sitting on my couch, I wondered if I wanted to be an explorer. I mean, I've done plenty of hitch-hiking in my time (!), I trekked up the Andes Mountains in Peru in 2001, I Greyhounded my way from NY to LA and back in 1988 - with lots of adventures ! And I've done my fair share of European travelling, and recently more American excursions visiting Sue's family and friends. Do I want to be an explorer?

I don't really know. I like travelling. For me, I would say that actually travelling is as much fun as arriving at the final destination. I enjoy the sights, sounds, smells, the people and places that you see when travelling. I think that if I had a specific purpose in mind, i.e. to seek and find something once I got to somewhere, I probably would lose interest pretty quickly. Some explorer, right? .....

Explorer - "Say, Paul - we found the last living dinosaur over here on this beach on Coney Island - you want to take a look?"
Me - "Nah - I'll take a ride on this roller coaster and see him from there as I pass!"

- perhaps not as bad as that, but you know what I mean. Oh - and apologies to any residents of Coney Island reading this. It is plainly obvious I do not know what the hell I am talking about! :)

I think I tend to explore my mind nowadays........but then that shouldn't take too long, should it? ;)

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Monday, August 04, 2003 Top 40 Things People Found Me By...

Here's the list from Free Stats. I've highlighted the insane desire for things to do with Doc Martens shoes....!

catherine herridge legs, philipines market guestbook for 2003, flexi mosquito netting trading, history coka cola, eastenders-belgium, dunlop green flash shoe company, canterbury pub party photos pictures, septolasty,
dunkirk bbc veurne, what town is norh of malibu california, hand operation chatroom, historical bulidings kent, sales pitch fun examples naked, why winmix gets no attention, inflatible stockings for circulation, doctor marten sandals,, what early 60's song are you quizilla, history of doc marten shoes, music played at princess grace of monaco funeral, recycled newspaper briquettes, brighton bulidings names uk, submucous diathermy, online diary designs, drivers for zion webcam, urban online diary, airline and complaint letter and travelling with baby, diary, sneeze, diary of a drunk driver apology letter, star trek crutches, blood bank pidgeon hospital, lyrics total eclipse of the heart by bonnie tylers,
online diary arkansas, blogging diary, dm factory shop shoes uk, toilet fresheners brighton, christain aid bridge walk uk, scavenger debt collectors, used dr. marten sandals, doc shop seconds shoes uk.

My favorites are:
? hand operation chatroom - presumbaly 'voice' only?
? diary of a drunk driver apology letter - not so drunk he couldn't steer his way around the internet!
? star trek crutches - belonging to 'Bones' perhaps?
? canterbury pub party photos pictures - extremely specific. A very worried person there I'd say.

But my favourite has to be: catherine herridge legs. I can only imagine that this is some media student on the trail of a lost cause. I also had written something about Ms Herridge - but not her legs. It was back in March of this year:

"...But of all her journalistic skills whilst live reporting, and in the studio, what do I remember about her most? It's this. She has a wide & extensive wardrobe of polo neck sweaters. Throughout the Washington sniper attack story she would appear at various locations with a different coloured one on. Sadly, I then began to watch Fox News more just to see what colour the next one would be - the power of TV, eh?

And now the war in Iraq is under way. I see Catherine is reporting from the studio. It's springtime. And she is sporting a wide and extensive range of............sleeveless poloneck tops. God Bless America :)..."

So I was at a loss to understand how her legs got in on this. If that media student does stroll across here again, they may want to look here where Ms Herridge, along with the other 'Fox Babes' have been rated in various sex appeal categories. Catherine is "Cutest Dominatrix"......hmmm...I'll have to think about that one! :)

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Sunday, August 03, 2003 Squawkbox - It's A Techhie Thing

By way of explanation as to why I had an interuption in 'commenty things', and why now I have a 'Comments by Squawkbox' splattered across the bottom of every this......

Well, they screwed a lot of people over good and proper! They did put an announcement back on their forums in February about effecting 2f the free accounts with 'heavy traffic' - like they would discontinue them if they didn't upgrade to a Pro Account. Well, this effected me, and a few other people I know, who have, maybe 1 or 2 comments, perhaps every other day. Hardly 'heavy traffic', right? Basically, because no-one ever goes to their forums site - why should you if the comments are working fine? - no-one, or very few people, read the announcement, or presumed that it wouldn't effect them....ha! :)

So, I saw 'it' happen on Dorothy's site, and emailed her as to what was going on - and this morning,(Sunday), it has happend to me as well. (Michelle also emailed me and told me - thank you :) ) I just registered again with and used another email address. However, like everybody else, I have lost all my old comments. I've seen one or two grumblings on the forums page, but it isn't worth yacking on about. The people at have done what they've done and that's that.

"Free" should be "free" in my opinion - but if the goalposts change - an effort in emailing people might have worked.

Oh yes - a change in javascript from end has a 'Comments by Squawkbox' splattered across the bottom of every entry. I am looking for something 'new' commenty wise. Any suggestions would be grateful appreciated. I am rather tempted to go back to my old friend Signmyguestbook, as they are the most reliable people on the planet!

Anyway - it's a lovely sunny Sunday here in the UK - let's not get too stressed about it,eh? See y'all later! :)

p.s. I do believe the 'free service' with that old stalwart of the internet The was also supposed to end at the end of July, but the little bugger at the foot of the page sems to be ticking over still :)

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An Iraqi War Story

There was a Marine deployed to Iraq. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had met two guys while he was gone and she wanted to break up. ...AND she wants pictures of herself back.

So the Marine does what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of naked women to his girlfriend with the following note:

"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back ."

It's true........honest ! :)

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Saturday, August 02, 2003 Doc Marten Sandal...?...NOT!

Okay, this isn't strictly speaking about Doc Marten sandals. In fact - it isn't about Doc Marten's at all. However, by typing the phrase 'Doc Marten shoes and sandals' one more time.....I can guarantee another round of hits from the people, who like myself, spent some time in their internet life looking for Doc Martens on the www.

Not a Doc Marten sandal - just a knackered one...!

But these sandals are old friends of mine. I mean we've been together for years........a fact. We've climbed hills, walked through shopping malls, scuffed along sea-shores, skidded across decks of yachts, been gardening together, drinking companions - admittedly I was doing the drinking and they just helped me home - but that's what friends are for - right? If you look carefully you'll note that there has been some handy work of my own done where the strap decided to disengage itself from the rest of the sandal. Yes - I used a stapler. I've seen cobblers use them....their's might be a little bit more specialist than mine........but it seemed to do the trick. A few weeks ago they had their first 'shoe operation' from the carpal tunneled hands of of myself. lasted as far as driving three miles in the car, and then it went 'TWANG' as soon as I stepped out into the car park.
Today was a very sunny day, so I attempted the same surgery again under the principle that like with any other major organ surgery - the sandals may have rejected the staples last time......! So, with a fresh box of staples - I tried again. This time it lasted a few more miles, a walk around the stores, back to the car, but went 'TWANG' when I went to put the car park ticket in the machine so we could get out. And here we are now...........

What should I do with them now? Bin them? Another dodgey open-sandal surgery? Take them to a cobblers? Go buy a pair of Doc Marten sandals, (didn't really have to mention 'Doc Marten sandals' again there - but it looks good on the stats when the hundreds of 'Doc Marten sandal' internet seekers come trawling by...ha!).

Oh yes - that is my patriotic Union Jack mouse mat in the background. I wonder if anyone will search for 'Union Jack mouse mat'? I'll let you know.......:)

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Google Search: Saddam Hussein

It's not good news I'm afraid: Saddam Hussein.

Help anyone? :)

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Friday, August 01, 2003 Stalin Plotted to Kill John Wayne?

Joseph Stalin was so outraged at the anti-communism of John Wayne that he plotted to have him murdered, there were several attempts in the late 1940s and early 1950s to kill Wayne...In the first attempt, two Russian assassins posing as FBI agents tried to kill Wayne in his office at Warner Brothers studios in Hollywood. Soviet plots were canceled after Stalin's death in 1953, by his successor Krushchev, who was a John Wayne fan :)
Stalin,eh? What a wimp! Can you imagine John Wayne & Jo Stalin standing at either end of Red Square.......'High Noonivitch'........nothing to be heard.........just the phut-phut of the occasional Zil chugging along a sidestreet. Both men determined to out draw the other in a fight to the death! West against East......or East against West depending on what side of the fence you're standing on.
Big John would just snarl at Jo from atop his trusty"Jo......there's only two ways you're going to leave this town. On a train, or in a box.......what'll it be?!" Jo, naturally would reply "Не заставьте меня смеяться Вы жирный Американский чурбан! Я пну вашу задницу полностью назад к Голливуду. Продвиньтесь жирный мальчик - приносит это на!".

I'd lay my money on Big John winning, as I heard that Stalin couldn't shoot his way out of a wet paper cossack (!).

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Classic Connolly

"Ladies and Gentleman, in the highly unlikely event the aircraft suffers a loss of power, in all probability we'll go into the ground like a f***ing dart. We would be obliged if you would wear your lifejacket on the way down. This will do you no good, but when archaeologists find you in 200 years time, they'll think there once was a river there".

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