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Blogging With Dr P... Blogging When I Can - Honest!
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Welcome to Blogging With Dr P... blogging when I can - honest

Your Blogging With Dr P... search result is below this annoucement.
In April 2008 Blogging With Dr P... moved to Blog Bypass.

If you're using the Blog Studio Search Facility to find a link to a previous blog, then I've been very generous, and NOT included an automatic re-direct which would take you there.

So, what this means is you have to use this link: Blog Bypass to find more Blogging With Dr P....

Thank you to Blog Studio for all the help over years! :)

(Feb 2010 Update): Haloscan is no more. Therefore the comments on this blog are no more. Sad, but true. I'm not paying $12 a year for the occasional comment with Echo. Apologies to all those who have commented. I have saved them and may well stick them somewhere else at some point.

Friday, December 31, 2004 Last Blog of 2004

Look at the time!? December 31st 2004! Hells bells! Where did it all go?! We're up to the last blog of 2004. It really ought to be something special don't ya think?

It's at times like this that some people might be tempted to give us a Blog Review of 2004. Well, not me. I started off blogging okay at the start of the year, took a blog gap around May - August time, and returned back slowly with a whimper some time in September/October. Sure there were some great moments here at Blogging With Dr P.. - and they can all be seen here at the Best Blogs. This covers the best of my blogs from 2002 - 2004. If you want to see what I've been up to this year, scroll down to the Old Blogs title in the right column, and start with January, and work your way through.

But what of 2005? Just what are the plans for blogging in Blogging With Dr P..? Pretty much more of the same I guess. I'm likely to be a bit more busy in my off-line world, so this may curtail my blogging activity a little. I'll also be spending more time in developing my web design skills. I've got an art web site, a tourism web site, and - something unsual - a request to repair somebody's web site for them. So things are looking up on that front.

For those non-bloggers - oh yes, they do exist! - who say that all this blogging mularchy is a senseless waste of time & effort by people who have nothing else to do with their lives apart from type meaningless lines of drivel all over the www - I've just said it for you - you may copy & paste and use it as part of your college project :-)

But for this rest of us who enjoy visiting each other, saying hello, and enjoy the whole concept of blogging for fun - keep on blogging in 2005!

Have a Happy & Peaceful New Year


[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 I Have Blogged, I Blog, I Will Blog Again

I came across this unusual phenomena concerning the use of the word blog. Apparently, according to one guy's weblog somewhere in the www, the word blog is a noun - NOT an adjective - so you can't use it to describe the action of filling your weblog full it is you fill your weblog with. According to our most learned colleague, what are doing when you fill in your weblog is WRITING, not BLOGGING. Oh dear. So are we not "bloggers" either? I must go and find a dictionary.

Onto more trivial matters now. I just had a new twist in junk phone calls a few minutes ago. As I answered the phone there was a slight pause of dead air before a female voice launched into a sales speech. (The dead air pause comes from when a power dialling company connects my phone line up to one of the power dialler subscribing companies when I answer the phone). Anyway, somebody in our household - that'll me or Sue - entered a competition last year and now we've won! Oh er missus! So all I have to do is phone a premium rate telephone number, (at £1.50 a minute for God knows how long), and claim my prize. Gosh - how exciting - not.

Oh yes - I checked out the blog definition at It seems there is a bit of truth in yer man's definition of blog:

Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger n

So we can at least be bloggers who do blogging - and that's official.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Best Blogged Photos 2004

As you you've seen from my little trips to France, USA & various hotel trips, I like taking photos.

To this end, I decided to trawl through my hundreds & hundreds of photos and come up with the Top Three Best Blogged Photos of 2004. And it's at this point, (for those of you who have dropped by), that you get the opportunity to cast your vote and let me know which photo you think is the best.

Okay the photos are:

Lion Girls

Lion Girls was taken in Trafalgar Square back in April. They had just got onto one of the lions and were posing for one of their friends, when I snapped a quick shot from the side.

The next contender for Best Blogged Photo 2004. Comes from a trip to sunny Versailles. This one I've entitled...

Le Batman Pic

For those of you who remember the zany camera angles in the old Batman TV series - you'll know exactly what that shot is all about.
And finally the last photo is this little beauty...

Great Yarmouth Beach

This made it into the Top Three Best Blogged Photos of 2004 simply because it looked so cool. It looks like one of those glass jars filled with coloured sand. We went to Great Yarmouth for a short break back in July. And, as ever, I had my camera with me.

So, it's up to you now. Which is the Best Blogged Photo of 2004? Stick your answer in the commenty thing below - and let me know the reason why you think it should be the best.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Sunday, December 26, 2004 DOOGLE - Irish Internet Search Engine

Click here:

For all your Irish internet needs.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Saturday, December 25, 2004 Long Way Round

By way of introduction, here is the blurb from the Long Way Round web site...

A once in a lifetime adventure….

Setting off in London in April 2004, Ewan and Charley travelled through some of the most beautiful, and at times dangerous, terrain the world has to offer. Crossing over into mainland Europe, they rode through France, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine, Russia, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Siberia, Alaska, Canada before arriving 115 days later at their final destination, New York City, USA.

Ewan McGregor & Charley Boorman

Copyright @ 2004 Long Way Round

Bike Mad Ewan had an idea a few years ago to go on a l..o..n..g bike ride down to Spain, or somewhere like that, with his good friend Charley. That idea got a bit bigger and soon it became biking around the world - the long way round. With the help of an excellent production crew, and the purpose of raising oodles of money for Unicef & other charities, off they went earlier this year. And what a trip it was. I was so enthralled by the programme & the whole event that I wrote them an email today....

Having been a great fan of the adventure, (watching it every week on SKY), and just watching some of the "extra" bits on the DVD, (and book), my wife got me for Christmas, I'd just like to say:

The programme captured the enthusiasm, excitement and adventure for all those people, (like me), who used to go travelling "in their youth", and then to see a truly great adventure unfold before their very eyes.

Apart from being great friends, Ewan & Charley worked well together as a travelling partnership. (So many long trips have been blighted when friends "fall out" part way down the road). With the Unicef meetings & the cameras to "play with" it gave the trip some "purpose" - as well as providing great entertainment for both the guys & the world viewing audience.

Okay, they're both actors, but both Ewan and Charley, (thanks to all the pre-training with the bikes, equipment, cameras etc), came across as being "your best mates" on TV - they were so "natural" on the screen. I found myself feeling all the emotions, thoughts, and decision making they were doing as they travelled along. It brought back all those hitch-hiking trips I used to go on years ago & how the excitement of "the unkown" would really make the trip come alive.

I'm not usually that heavily influenced by a TV programme that I would put pen to paper and write in and say I was "a fan". But "The Long Way Round" was something special to me - more than TV programme, more like a trip down memory lane - and it looked like bloody good fun as well! :-)

Finally, I'd just like to pass on my congratulations to both Ewan & Charley, (& Claudio), for riding their arses across the globe, and to all the production team who put the whole thing together. Excellent job!

Travelling - don't ya just love it?

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Friday, December 24, 2004 Christmas Blogging Again

Okay, as you can possibly see, I've been doing a bit of blog redesigning. My name at the top of the page is now a jpg image as opposed to plain free floating text like it was before. I was quite pleased with that,as it was my first attempt at producing something decent bannerwise in Paint Shop Pro.

In fact it is my Two Year anniversary of being with a weblog. Here is what it looked like back in November 2002 - don't ask me why I thought pink, green & yellow was a good combo to look at. I was young and foolish. Now I'm just older and foolish...! Yes, I was totally cack-handed way back in the early days at Pitas, wasn't I? But, through sheer determination and lots of help from places like Cre8asite - an excellent place for all kind of friendly experts to do with all aspects of web design, I've managed to learn a bit more, and make things a little better looking around here.

But tis the season to be jolly! So, remember, if you see this guy:

loitering inside your lounge early in the morning swigging from a bottle? You probably have burglars.

Merry Christmas kids! :-)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Thursday, December 23, 2004 Motorway Blogging

Whilst cluching and braking my way around the M25, (the orbital motorway around London), this evening, I wished for some kind of Motorway Blogging device. Okay - my first wish was for some malicious anti-tank weapon which would wipe out all the traffic in front of me - particularly the guys who were nipping up the hard shoulder to get off the motorway and escape the traffic jam.

But! After that, I was wishing for some Motorway Blogging device. It would have to been have some sort of voice activated thing - in keeping with all the national laws etc. But it woud have been so useful to talk straight to my blog with no effort at all. I know Wayne here at Blog Studio had made some enquires with Blogger or some other company that did phone blogging.And then, you see - I could have talked straight to you here - neat, eh?

So, Wayne - if you're reading this, I know it's a bit late in the day to add it to my Christmas Wish List - but a belated one will do - how about getting the mobile phone blogging "thing" sorted out - then I could Motorway Blog to the world!

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 Blog Shares

People are investing in me at BlogShares....

And all my other blog stats are here.

The question I would like answered is this.....what is it all about?

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 Christmas Blogging

I don't know how it's going to go. Y'know - Christmas and blogging. Y'know it ought to be the time of year when the wine starts flowing and all the world of internet scholars start to wax lyrically about Yuletide logs, chestnuts & open fires, Xmas sleighs, Rudolph, etc

But what about all the pizza delivery guys, supermarket delivery people, Xmas tree suppliers, Romanian taxi drivers delivering Chinese take-aways, (well, they do to us!) who are working their arses off in all kinds of weather just to keep us stuffed & satisfied this festive season? D'you hear any poems, songs, inane Powerpoint email rubbish, any kind of tribute for these people's hard work? No.

So, this one's for all the delivery people in the world who are delivering something to someone over the next week:

Thank you Mr Pizza Man for bringing me my grub
I'll drink a pint of ale for you - tonight, down in the pub.
It's always nice to get a meal with my freebie sticker,
Merry Christmas to you mate - just get here a little quicker!

There - I think that balances it up a bit :)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Monday, December 20, 2004

Christmas Conference - The Lost Post*

It was a dark and stormy night.....actually it was a dark and wet two cold days - last Thursday and Friday. It was the time of year for the Annual Christmas Conference. Yes, twas a time to be jolly, happy, merry....God incredibly merry (!), and do a bit of business in between as well.

Evening No.1
The merriment began on Wednesday evening. Having collected two colleagues from the airport, we arrived at the hotel early evening - and awaited the onslaught of the rest of the tribe from various parts of the UK. It was a hotel, (remaining unamed due to possible litigation reasons), that was a few miles outside town. This was probably more for the safety of local residents, than the picturesque local English countryside.

Early evening aperifs - a few pints before dinner - began....just before dinner. However, just to confuse issues the waiter said:

  1. He couldn't put us all on one table, and couldn't put us all in the restaurant at the same time on separate tables...? There were only 17 of us for dinner that night. So, it would have been 4 tables of 4, or 3 of 5 and one by himself (!), or some other combo. And then we'd have to eat at 15min intervals as well. Not ideal.
  2. He then went onto say that we "...couldn't order the food until they'd cooked it" Okay(?). Have you thought about that one for a minute? Good.

Bearing in mind the ferocity of hunger from people who had driven several hundred miles to get there, this complete & utter drivel from the waiter wasn't going down too well at all! Thankfully, one of our happy crowd who had stayed there before and piped up with - "There's a curry house just down the road!" Wahey! And off we went in a floatilla of company cars to annex the little Indian restaurant in the quaint Olde Englishe village. (Yes, most quaint Olde Englishe villages do contain an Indian restaurant nowadays).
In a much more welcoming comparison, the chaps at the Indian restaurant welcomed us with open arms, lashed a few tables together, and started supplying beer & popadums like it was an ER ! Several courses later, and with a severe meltdown on some poor bugger's company Barclaycard, we were fed & watered like Princes of Persia, or at least like a band of travelling minstrels/troubadoors who would eat or drink anything as long as it was put in front of them immediately. It was damned good.  

Evening No.2 
Let it not be said that we don't know how to enjoy ourselves. Never. After a hard retired to our country estate for an evening's fun & festivities. As is this Xmas tradition in these hotels, about 3 or 4 different groups were booked into the function room for that evening's Xmas dinner and disco. That amused me a bit, as they couldn't accomodate 17 people the night before, and were now about to sit & serve about 60 people all at once.

And it didn't matter if you were hard of hearing either - as it was so fucking noisy in there...I said IT WAS SO FUCKING NOISY IN THERE - you could hardly hear the wine bottle corks cracking. There were also these long balloon things, (the kind that the balloon tying guys use), which, when blown up and released, circled and spiralled the dome shaped restaurant - making a loud farting noise in the progress - and then landing embarassingly, ( hopefully!), down some large cleavage somewhere on another table. Oh yes, by the end of the evening there were some highly qualified marksmen with that toy ;)    

The food arrived with the miserable looking waiter & waiteresses, (a trait I beleive they go to training school for), with skill and precision - it was dropped down in front of you. But it was warm, edible, and most importantly - there. We ate, drank, ballooned, and generally had a good time. And then the food stopped arriving. I think this signified the end of the meal. So we continued drinking - as you do :)

The centre table was cleared away - much to the annoyance of two of the guests who were still drinking there (!) - and the dance floor was revealed. Normally at this point during a staff Xmas party, particularly as they were a few different firms there as well, the dance floor remains empty for a significant amount of time. But not tonight. One of my female colleagues dragged me up there and shouted, (above the noise of the music), "C'mon - lets dance around my handbag!" - and so we did. And like Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, or the Pied Piper of Hamlyn leading the rats of the city, (depending on your view on things), the dam gated opened and a flood of dancers swirled and flowed across the dance floor like a flash flood out of control demolishing everything in sight as it rushed down the mountainside towards the sleepy village. Yes, it was very much like the opening scenes of a badly written disaster movie. We're talking straight-to-video-to-garbage dumpster!   

However, much merriment and bopping was had by all.

Day 2 - The Aftermath
This would be a bad day for the Temperance Society to drop by and tell us all about the evils of drink. They were many, many people on Friday in our group who fully understood exactly the state their bodies, and brains, were in. As the lady with the handbag, who started off the whole dancing thing last night remarked - "It's at times like this that having a trasnsparent kidney would be quite funny to look at". We all made it there. We all sat there and listened to our own final presentations, and a word from our sponsors, sorry a mean a word from our dept head etc.      

All in all in was a good bash. And with only a week to go before Xmas, for all my colleagues who read this, and, (as they say in radio land), anyone else who knows me - have a great Xmas & New Year :) 

*Thanks to Wayne at Blog Studio for recovering this Lost Post from last week

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Sunday, December 19, 2004 ZEN

1.Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the Hell alone.

2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.

3.It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4.Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5.Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6.No one is listening until you fart.

7.Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8.Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9.It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

10.It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

11.If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

12.Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

13.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

14.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

15.If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

16.Don't squat with your spurs on.

17.If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

18.If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

19.Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

20.Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

21.Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment.

22.The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

23.Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

24.A closed mouth gathers no foot.

25.Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

26.There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

27.Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

28.Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

29.Never miss a good chance to shut up.

30.We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse!

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Jesus Statue Thefts Mystify Authorities

From The Northwest Herald Sunday 12th December.

WOODSTOCK – Police are sure that it was not wise men who stole baby Jesus. At least four baby Jesus statues were stolen from residential Nativity scenes last week.

"What are they going to do next, take the crosses off the churches?" said Linda Popovits, whose Jesus figure was stolen from her extensively decorated Dean Street home. The theft came just a week after someone placed a handwritten cardboard sign in front of the manger scene that said, "Would Jesus use this much electricity?"

Woodstock police also said thefts were reported Tuesday and Wednesday on Mitchell Street, Dakota Drive and Prairie Ridge Drive. Mary Reinert said her family was upset when they noticed that the baby Jesus figure had been stolen from their Prairie Ridge Drive home Tuesday.

"You cannot replace a baby Jesus," she said. "You have to buy a whole Nativity scene."

Woodstock Sgt. Richard Johns said only one Jesus statue has been recovered by police. The Nativity piece was found near Queen Anne Street and Todd Avenue, and it remains in police custody as evidence. The Woodstock thefts came just a few days after a 19-year-old man was caught stealing a ceramic infant from Daley Plaza in Chicago. Johns said the police department takes numerous reports of stolen or damaged lawn decorations every Christmas season.

"This is a little bit unusual that Nativity scenes are being affected," he said.

The McHenry County Sheriff's Department and other police departments in the county said they have not received any reports of stolen Nativity statues. Johns encouraged residents to keep decorations well lit, to keep items away from roads, and to place pieces so that they would be difficult to snag.

Popovits said her Jesus figurine was screwed to a wooden crib to keep the wind from blowing it away, not to prevent thieves from taking it. Whoever stole the piece had to pry the two apart, she said.

"How could somebody just steal a baby Jesus?" Reinert said. "Why not take Santa Claus?"

Don and Becky Goers, who live nearby on Ginny Lane, have a lawn full of Christmas decorations, including a Nativity scene. Don Goers said seven of his lawn decorations were stolen last year, but he doesn't plan to remove the infant.

"They're not going to win," he said.

Ah - the spirit of Christmas, eh?

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Saturday, December 18, 2004 Homeland Security & Christmas Shopping

As a UK citizen arriving in the USA, (as we did for Thanksgiving recently), I was greeted by having my index fingers scanned, and my picture taken by a dodgey looking "webcam" for some under-cover Govt porn website or something.

Anyway, whilst getting my fingers scanned I said, jokingly, to the policeman - "How do you know this isn't the finger of a 'dead' man I've attached to my hand?" He paused. It seemed like a very long pause. Long enough for me to envisage 10 - 15 years in a maximum security state prison for breaking some Homeland Security law. Then he smiled. Ever seen one of "Dallas Finest" smile? It looks great.

Never underestimate the lengths to which Homeland Security investigators would go to - you may end up losing a finger....!

On a more happier note - LA!

No, I mean we got ourselves really organized this morning and went off Xmas shopping to avoid the rush. Well, having spent several hours in one of the largest & busiest shopping centres in Europe, Lakeside, on the busiest weekend of the year, I was quite surprised to find very little traffic about at midday. In fact, it was comparatively "empty" for the time of day, and the particular day that it is - the last Saturday before Christmas. We shall see what the retailing figures are after peak, (peak = peak trading, i.e. the run up to Christmas & the January Sales), and whether or not there'll be another round of head office staff cuts in order to keep the company viable.

Ho ho ho - Merry Christmas :)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Friday, December 17, 2004 The Lost Post

I just spent 45mins writing a very funny post about the Xmas Conference I have been attending over the last few days. However, due to an error in the posting system of Blog Studio, it has disappeared up the arse of the WWW - never to be seen again. Shame really, it was quite good.

Ah well - I'm back - how's it been going since I've been gone? Anything good been happening?

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 Christmas and Churches

I remember when I was a good little altar server many moons ago, serving Midnight Mass at Christmas. The Head Altar Server walked past the floor candles on his way up the centre aisle back to the altar - and his cotta set alight at the back. He didn't notice, and he kept on walking!

Suddenly, one of the guys in the congregation jumped up, ran at my "chief" and started to rip the cotta off his back! The altar server had no idea what was going on, and a small struggle ensued between the two men and the burning cotta.

It was soooooo funny!

Needless to say, no-one got hurt, but it did brighten up the service :)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Monday, December 13, 2004 Duran Duran May 2005

Yes, it's true. Duran Duran are playing ONE UK gig next year at Birmingham City Football Ground on Saturday 28th May 9pm.

The Boys

The gig was only announced a few weeks ago, and tickets went on sale last Friday officially, and are selling fast! However, unlike the great ticket debacle of March this year, we have managed to get our hands on a pair of tickets for Box 30 - right opposite the stage:

So, to summarise - we have two tickets to see Duran Duran in May 2005 :)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Sunday, December 12, 2004 Hitchhike The World

Yesterday we went for a good nosh up in a Mexican restaurant in Covent Garden. Before we went to the restaurant, we had a wander around. As usual the there was the street artists, shops, and a huge merry-go-round. But, amongst all of this was a young women standing a by a pillar with a small pile of books on a makeshift table. Next to it was a sign: Hitch Hike The World. Intriguing, eh? After my various trips here and there, including the famous 1983 Hitch To The South Of France, I stopped and had a quick chat with the women.

Her name is Kinga. She is Polish. Herself and her friend Chopin hitch-hiked around the world. It took 5ive years. It took one year to write the book and get it published. And there she was in Covent Garden, London on a cold December afternoon selling the book to whoever stopped by. The book is called Led By Destiny and has a separate website giving more detail of their great adventure: Led By Destiny

They also have a website. It is here: Hitchhike the World. I recommend you go and pay it a visit and have a good look around. It's an excellent journey.

For those of you you enjoy, hitch hiking, travel, adventure, freedom, life on the open road, etc - this website & book is for you. Enjoy.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Saturday, December 11, 2004 Covent Garden Unicyclist

We're off to Covent Garden this evening for dinner with me bro & his missus. Just in case you've forgotten what Covent Garden is all about, it's a bit like this:

A bloke on a unicycle.

Obviously, there's a lot more to Covent Garden than that. Including restaurants. We're off to Cafe Pacifico on Langley Street. It was okay when we went there a few weeks ago for lunch. The food was great. Subsequent internet reviews seem to give it a mixed review. We shall see.

Caio chow!

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Friday, December 10, 2004 Val Doonican's Jumpers

In the course of my working day today, I happened to rest awhile on a stool, in a sloping type manner, reminiscent of our old friend Val Doonican. And, as you might imagine, I started up a conversation with the first person that passed by the fax machine I was waiting at, with the most burning question in my head:

Did Val Doonican lay his woolly jumpers in a draw, or did he hang them on a hanger in the wardrobe?

Naturally, (as per normal), the person I was talking to did not have a clue what I was talking about, and was busy clearing sharp objects away from around me as she tentatively engaged me in conversation. Of course, logic soon prevailed, (I think), and some more obvious re-assuring thoughts came into my head which can be visualised as such...

"It's a cold winter's evening as a young 16 year old Val returns from a night singing in a local Irish club in County Waterford to help support his family. As he gets into his bedroom he hears the shout from his ma:
"Michael Valentine Doonican !If you put that jumper on a hanger in the wardrobe again - I'll get the priest from the Protestant monastery to come and take you away! D'you hear me?"

So, perhaps in the "early days" when his jumpers were pure Irish wool - they were best laid down in a draw - like his ma was telling him.

But who knows how Val treated his jumpers whehn he left home and ventured out into the big wide world of show business? His jumpers were probably NOT wool anymore, but a mixture of polycotton fabrics, lycra etc - the kind of thing that would be light and comfortable under the TV studio lights for the "Val Doonican Show". And, God forbid, they could have been DRIP DRY.

His poor mother would have wept if she'd found out."

But to snap us all back to reality now - SNAP! - if anyone does know how Val treated his jumpers - I'd really like to know - and then the injunction can be lifted which prevents me from going 25 yards near the fax machine.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Thursday, December 09, 2004 It Was Cat Stevens......

...who wrote/sang Morning Has Broken. (But, apparently,the lyrics come from a children's hymn written by Eleanor Farjeon in 1930 which was based on Psalm 118.

Anyway - bollocks! It's Essex. It's winter. It's cold. It is not like verse 2:

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven

Like the first dewfall, on the first grass

Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden

Sprung in completeness where his feet pass

It is an Ungodly place and needs to be rubbed down vigorously with a hard wire brush and moved to somewhere tropical and warm.

Cat Stevens has never lived in Essex.

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

John Lennon December 9/10/40 - 8/12/80

John Lennon was shot four times in the back by Mark Chapman who had asked the former Beatle for his autograph only hours before he laid in wait and killed him.

Chapman pleaded guilty to gunning down Mr Lennon and is currently serving life in Attica prison near New York. In October 2004 he failed for the third time to secure his release.

He said he had heard voices in his head telling him to kill the world-famous musician.

As my brother Tom emailed to me this evening: "...just imagine what John Lennon would've made of the last 24 years!"


[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Wednesday, December 08, 2004 Asian Porno Re-Visited

And so the journey into complete & utter depravty continues here at the world's favourite weblog. For those of you unaware of recent events, here's a little reminder of what's been going on...

In an attempt to prove that anyone could get to the top of internet search engines, such as Yahoo or Google, one only has to apply some basic Search Engine Optimisation techniques. These methods include using keywords, in this instance, Asian Porno, in blog titles and throughout the blog item. To this end I did indeed get to Number One for Asian Porno a few weeks ago. You can read about it here.
Incidentally, at the moment I'm still 33rd in Google, but not even in the Top 100 with Yahoo for Asian Porno.

However, what is more alarming is the state of my keyword search stats. That's to say, this is how the top of my Top 40 Keyword Search list looks like:

For the non-matheticians amongst you what this means is this:

1. Out of the top 7 keyword searches, 3 of them were for porno related searches = 43%.

2. Out of the 64 keyword searches which brought people to my weblog, 39 of them were porno related = 61%.

3. 22% of searchers found their way looking for Asian Porno.

4. 33% found their way here looking for porno.

And not one of them said hello.

So, here's to the future...and the last time I mention Asian Porno. Some day my stats will get back to normal.....whatever that may be ;)

[Link] - | Old Blog Search

Tuesday, December 07, 2004 Texas Thanksgiving 2004

This is the moment you've all been waiting for...possibly. For your mild amusement I proudly present:

The Texas Thanksgiving 2004 Album!

To give you a rough idea of where we were....we were here:

There. I can't get more accurate than that, can I? Obviously we weren't sleeping on the highway! We were staying in Watauga with Sue's Ma & Pa. Remember they came over here for Xmas & New Year? Anyway, we had a great time :)

I hope you enjoy the pics. I know it's what you expect of me ;)

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Sunday, December 05, 2004 TexASS Thanksgiving

Nope, it's not a spelling error. I am in the process of putting together an album of photos of our recent trip to TexASS for Thanksgiving. So, just to give you a little taster (!) of what could be coming up....

A Real TexASS Longhorn

There - that was worth waiting for, wasn't it? ;)

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Saturday, December 04, 2004 Orange £50 Upgrade Fee

The Orange mobile phone company really sucks. There - that's quite a damning statement isn't it? It all stems from going in to get an upgrade. I got a phone for Sue a couple of years ago, and we have upgraded once already. And now, (12 months later), there's an opportunity to upgrade it again. So off we went to the Orange store this morning. We filled in all the forms, and then the sales guy "remembers something", makes a phone call, and then informs us that there is now a £50 upgrade fee! because we didn't use the phone that much throughout the year. According to the Customer Service lady, with whom I had a lengthy conversation on the phone, Orange had changed their terms and conditions back in August - neglected to tell the customers - and so for those "under-used" phone users, there will be a £50 upgrade fee when they come to upgrade after 12 months.

Apparently, it's all to do with cost, I was told. Okay, the handsets are subsidised so that they cost next-to-nothing, or in some cases free, when you sign up for a contract with an air-time provider such as Orange. But what confused me about this deal was that after 18 months you would then be okay get an upgrade and not pay the £50 upgrade fee. The cost of the phone would have been recouped by then, I was told. Duh? As an extreme example, if I never used the phone in the first 12 months, and never used it in the next 6 months - how does that get the cost of the phone back to Orange? What does the amount of my airtime mobile phone bill throught 12, or 18, months got to do with the Orange recouping the cost of the handset? She couldn't answer that one.

So we'll wait another 6 months to get a free upgrade - but not before I mention Orange and their crap £50 upgrade fee again, in the hope that enough search engines will find me, people will read this and NOT buy an Orange phone as a gift for Christmas, thinking they can upgrade it for free in 12 months time. And remember,as I was told: "Orange has the right to change their terms and conditions when they want to." Ah - but they could also inform their customers as well, say, perhaps, with a text message even?

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