Thursday, July 22, 2004

i haven't read the bible in so long, and have been sleeping in for church coz i've stayed up so late.. sometimes i wonder if God gets angry.. i wish i could get closer to Him. I miss the days when He would talk to me and such. but i still feel close to Him in ways i can't explain. i feel His presence in my life. i know He's there; and will never leave me. i just wish i was a better 'Christian'.. i don't talk Christian talk or anything.. like church people do.. i talk like a regular person, except in my head i guess. i talk to Jesus in my head. so i guess i'm pretty Christian in that way. i think i do that on purpose tho. i don't want to just copy cat other Christians and be a drone. i want a special loving close relationship with Jesus that's all my own. ya know? to me, Jesus is special, He's lyrically beautiful, and shouldn't be reduced to rote.. His personality is inspirational, and i don't know that all the people speaking Christianese are inspired. but hey, whatever gets ya thru the night i guess, it's not that i'm faulting them, i mean, of course not.. coz i totally did some stuff like that when i was first a Christian. i immersed myself in the stuff of Christianity just coz it was the place to be. so maybe that's what every one does. perhaps that's exactly the right thing to do.. study to show thyself approved.. then repeat hehe, like shampoo..

Posted by bonehaven at 7:22 PM - [Link]

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