Friday, May 30, 2003

i've been neglecting my blog i hear. it's so hard to get online over here.. my parents are keeping me hoppin' and my dad is always on the computer. last night their computer couldn't get onto the internet. anyway, nothing much is new. i like that B12 supplement i'm taking, need a couple of them a day it seems, i know some people need more than that. but the energy it gives is so gentle and normal, it's not fake or jittery or something you have to pay for later. and i'm looking into the company as a little business to start.. something that will pay for my products type deal, maybe more someday, who knows... but it's a neat company. it's Christian based, i like that, and you don't have to bug people, you can BUY your customers from the company, they do all the advertising and get the people and you invest and get the downline from THEM from the comfort of your own home. so i'm thinking, a little investment each month and maybe a little business that grows each month and in a couple years i would have a business or something. i mean the time is going to go by anyway, and i'm going to be buying the product anyway... so why not? their products are great, there's no downside... i think it's cool... so i'm looking into it.

Posted by bonehaven at 3:09 PM - [Link]

Friday, May 23, 2003

well off we go out west to a doctor that does metabolic typing. so my mom will finally know what sort of foods she is supposed to eat. there was this book out there that claimed to do that based on blood type, but apparently you can't establish metabolic type based on blood type. the book was called 'eat right for your type'. my mom has a copy of it on her shelf. of course the diet didn't help her. but now she will be able to find out her REAL metabolic type. i find that exciting. i would like to get it done myself. to know what kinds of foods you are supposed to eat.. aaah... would be great. i have only been on one rather successful diet, mostly consisted of chicken and rice and veggies, was good for me. i remember beer was allowed on the list, i recall being grateful for that coz a beer would help the weakness in my muscles, the feeling of weakness, the shakiness. just one beer. anyway, i digress. so we are all excited about metabolic testing. that's coming up in a couple of weeks, they squeezed her in. so pray she will be able to eat the foods after she finds out what they are.

Posted by bonehaven at 4:13 PM - [Link]

Friday, May 16, 2003

my mom got a touch from God the other day. my father and i went to the supermarket and no sooner were we out the door than God dealt with my mom. my mom had been in bad pain all day; bad pain in her stomach and she had gone to lie down. she was freezing cold under the covers when suddenly she went terribly hot, then her temperature normalized, then she felt as if *something left* and then she was no longer in pain. she lay in bed thanking God until dad and i got home when she excitedly told us. she is still sick and tired and in pain today and stuff. but obviously God is willing to touch her. God is willing to give miracles here. He is loving and taking care of my mom. i'm very glad to know this.
Dr Gonzales has turned down my mom as a patient, even tho she finally did turn to him. there will be no help coming from there. my older brother is back on the net searching for alternative therapies my mother might be able to handle. there's not much out there it seems... maybe i will start looking too.

Posted by bonehaven at 11:54 PM - [Link]

Monday, May 12, 2003

my mom doesn't want to go see the doctor in new york. that doctor was our only option for treatment for my mom. i feel as though the only hope is gone. i came here to watch my mom fight and get treatment and get well. now i've got to watch her get sicker and die. i'm scared. everything has changed. i feel so impotent. there's nothing that can be done but to sit here and watch. i feel so much love for her. i feel her love for me. i want her to stay. i kiss her on the cheek and the love flows between us like electricity. it's powerful. it makes my head swim. i will never forget how much i love my mom as she wraps her arm around my shoulders and whispers 'i'm sorry'... her eyes look into mine and we see each other there. everybody says 'you have your mother's eyes.' i will see her there for the rest of my life when i look in the mirror. but i want the real thing. oh how i want my mom. i feel it already and she is still here. please don't go mom.

Posted by bonehaven at 5:29 PM - [Link]

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

well, i'm going to my home town... go see my mom. i don't know what to say about it. i wish my husband was going with me. i will need his support. but i also want to be with my mom. she told me she was proud of me the other day, and i could hear in her voice that it was true. it was a great moment. i have always wanted to make my mom proud, it's been a thing that i have always strived for. now that she IS proud of me, i'm not sure what exactly she is proud of lol. perhaps it is the work for God, perhaps it is the fight in me. it's been a hard fight. i don't know that i can take much credit for that tho. really all i did was wait for God to save me. i was totally dependant on God. still am. aren't we all. my hubby seems to think that my mom will stabalize on this other doctor's treatment and i will be home in a relatively short time. i pray that's true. but i talked to my mom on the phone and she seems to think that she won't even be able to talk to the doctor on the phone, and i'm worried that if she doesn't call him back soon that he will take it as a bad mental attitude. which it is, frankly. that's what scared me so badly that i am going running there... she just sounded so bad. well, tomorrow i shall get to see for myself, or the next day... wish me well.

Posted by bonehaven at 4:19 PM - [Link]

Friday, May 02, 2003

well i'm feeling high emotions... about everything. about my mother, i was crying last night, repeatedly. but i'm also feeling excited about my website, what with all the good ideas me and megsy have had lately. i'm wanting to make my mom proud. you know i have always wanted to make my mom proud. like it's been a crazy thing with me. now it's like God has given me stuff that will make my mom proud. isn't that nice of God? no, isn't that super-duper GREAT of God?? maybe a present for my mom... maybe a present for me. i don't know. Thank you God!! it is good to be able to do something for my mom. i wouldn't have thought i could. my website was up, and just kind of sitting there doing nothing, the forum is great! but it is not the kind of thing that my mom would like. she thinks chat is bad lol. Thank you gilles for reading those computer papers and keeping abreast of things. he has found a couple things for me in there. i didn't put the games on my site, i still may some day, ya never know...

Posted by bonehaven at 2:21 PM - [Link]

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